Coming back, there's a montage of Ryan's long years of people trying to steal his job from him. That's a segue to meeting a kid named Shaun Kraisman, who looks a bit like Ryan himself, but sounds exactly like him. He's got Ryan's cadences and inflections down, and he's even shown up for auditions in a black suit and tie. His whole Seacrest-lite routine is totally distracting to the judges, and Ryan doesn't help when he comes in to stand next to him and encourage his schtick. At some point Shaun gets to sing "Oh, Girl," rather overdoing it and getting a no. "See you next time on American Idol!" he Ryans to the camera as a farewell. Yeah, he clearly got what he came for: a place to launch his career as a Ryan Seacrest impersonator, which will comprise many lucrative years of getting to say things like "This...is Toyotathon.".
The next audtioner is a 15-year-old, six-foot-tall Amazon named Shannon Magrane. She plays volleyball, and the judges interview her a little bit about her sports background, which includes a father who once played in the World Series. Of course the judges want to meet him too, and so Shauna trots her whole family in there: her mom, a whole coven of sisters, and of course the ex-baseball pro dad. He shakes hands with Steven, asking how Boston is. "Hot humid, and happenin'," Steven cracks. "Just like your daughter!" Awkward silence, which Jennifer breaks by commenting, "What a beautiful family." Good thing there's a diplomat in the room. Shannon sings an Etta James sing with her whole family clustered around her, and her mom in particular getting waaay into it. Randy and Steven are impressed with her guts for singing in front of her family, and she gets three yeses. The Magranes herd themselves out and launch into a celebration that spills through the whole hotel. Going to break, Ryan waxes literary, saying it's "midday in the garden of good and evil." And he goes out of his way to make it sound like there's going to be a lot more evil than the other thing.
Coming back, we get a montage set to the song "Devil in Disguise" of good-looking people who can't sing for shit and are quickly and rightfully turfed, each with a better understanding of why they never have to leave the bar alone on karaoke night. But then comes Amy Brumfield, from Tennessee. And she lives in a tent, because apparently that's all she and her boyfriend and dog can afford. We get to see their homestead in the woods, in the rain no less, and it's depressing as hell. It's like Bizarro Cribs. It doesn't help when she tells us that her dress, necklace, and shoes are all borrowed. Fortunately, she sings "Superwoman" by Alicia Keys, rather well and in a voice full of campfire smoke. Randy likes her tone, Steven says something about the spirits of the woods, and Jennifer calls her a "Hipsy," whatever that is. She's through, so I guess she'll have to borrow another dress for Hollywood.













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