We come back at 4:00 PM, and flash all the way back to Season 10, when Schyler Dixon and her brother Colton auditioned. And Schyler's auditioning alone this year, stepping out of her brother's shadow blah blah Olympics athlete profilecakes. The judges are happy to see her again, but more disappointed that her brother isn't with her. In fact, they make her go back out and haul him into the audition room so they can give him a hard time for not auditioning. Whose audition is this, anyway? They at least have the decency to let Schyler sing first. They politely sit through her rendition of "Barely Breathing" before immediately turning to Colton and hauling him up on the Oval. He's all "Don't make me sing," but eventually busts out a David Cook song while Schyler watches from the side with increasing annoyance. For someone who wasn't planning to audition, his performance is pretty damned polished. Once he's done, the judges call Schyler back, and they send them both through to Hollywood. "Well, that was unexpected," Schyler tells us on her way out of the audition room, with some asperity. And if she's annoyed, imagine how the thousands of people who never made it into that room must feel. She runs out and into the arms of her parents, who look pretty surprised when Colton follows her out with a Golden Ticket of his own, all "Aw, shucks." This is a time bomb, and the show knows it.
Montage of crying rejects, set to Patsy Cline's "I Fall to Pieces." "They said I was emotionless," one youngster sobs ironically. Then we meet Lauren Mink, who works with developmentally disabled adults. After seeing her at work in her happy dreamy job, we get to hear her sing "Country Strong." Good move, that; you see all these aspiring divas taking on Whitney and Mariah, but this girl sets her sights on Gwyneth. Very canny. The judges love her, and Jennifer even gets goosebumps. Three-way yes, so she'll be going to Hollywood. But first she goes out and hugs her ma, who tugs down the hem of Lauren's short skirt for the cameras. She's not going to be doing that all season, is she?
Apparently, it's really hot in Savannah on day two, to the point where there's a montage of contestants pouring bottled water on themselves while they wait outside. Good luck getting your hair right again. Eventually the judges get there, do their prep (with some snarking from J. Lo about the boys' habitual lateness and makeup regimen), and are waiting for the next contestant. That would be a young man named Mauwena Kodjo, from West Africa. "This doesn't seem convenient," Ryan understates. His whole intro package is about how he's a deluded country singer wannabe, with the kind of accent that seems to call for subtitles even when we can understand him. You know those times when they set up someone as a sleeper contestant who seems like they'll be terrible and then they're awesome? That's not the case here. He actually is terrible. The judges are nice enough to him (nicer than the editors are, certainly), but Mauwena makes the mistake of promising to prove them wrong. Randy takes him up on it, inviting Mauwena to come back with people who think he's awesome. So Ryan starts walking through downtown with Mauwena on his quest to find fans on the street, because it's not like he has anything else to do. It seems like a fool's errand, but eventually he finds a family of four preteen girls and their obviously deaf grandfather, who willingly head back to the venue to plead in Mouwena's behalf. Alas, it's no good. Ryan comes back out with them all, telling Mouwena's fans, "You froze up in there!" Sure, blame the tourists who just wanted to come see the town.