Tuesday. Melodramatic Announcer: "The pressure percolates as the surviving seven sing again. Tonight, who will choose their [sic] song wisely? Who will watch their [sic] words? Who will play it safe, and who will take the big risk?" Who will resort to alliteration and repetition in an attempt to be even more melodramatic? Who needs a lesson in pronoun-number agreement? Clips of Ryan, Justin, R.J., and Nikki are shown in response to the four questions that Melodramatic Announcer melodramatically asks.

Credits. Ryan "Rhinestone Cowboy" Seacrest and Brian "Everybody Plays The Fool" Dunkleman head out to The Octagon in bad suits with ugly shirts. Ryan's shirt looks like it has tire-track patterns on it. Neither is wearing a tie. Black and Decker introduce themselves to the audience with a stupid joke about how giddy they are or aren't. Nobody laughs. They blather about some funny picture they "found" (read: "planted") on the show's official site. They ask for the picture to show up on the monitor, but nothing happens. Hee. Technical difficulties. Finally, it pops up. Somebody stuck Simon "Thin Line Between Love And Hate" Cowell's head on top of a picture of a bodybuilder's body. That's it. It's like one of those cheap novelty pictures you can get at the souvenir shops at any amusement park. I mean, the TWoP Pixel Challenges put that picture to shame. The audience cheers anyway, because they'll cheer for just about anything. Ryan "jokes" about how much he likes Simon's picture and wants copies. Nobody laughs, because they know he's not joking.

Black and Decker explain that this week's theme is "The '70s." Blah blah blah votecakes. Black and Decker make an unfunny joke about people at home eating pork rinds and watching in their underwear. Nobody laughs. They remind us that A.J. was sent home last week because he didn't get enough votes. But he got a job at the local blood bank, and everything turned out just fine.

Black and Decker introduce the seven remaining contestants, who file out on stage as they usually do. No real fashion surprises tonight. As they file back off to prepare for their performances, Black and Decker introduce the judges. They introduce Randy "You Don't Have To Be A Star (To Be In My Show)" Jackson with a stupid joke about him having his original nose. Nobody laughs except for Randy. They introduce Paula "Everything Is Beautiful" Abdul by calling her "bold and always beautiful." They introduce Simon by calling him "the prince of darkness," but the audience cheers loudly in Simon's favor. I think they have to pipe in some booing from a recorded track.