American Idol
Hollywood Round, Part 3

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Hollyweird

Ryan tells us about an epidemic of people writing lyrics on their hands and the editors corroborate that with a montage of girls using their meathooks for Teleprompters. It's obvious and lazy and not fooling anyone, and the worst part is... it doesn't work! They're still blowing the lyrics. Nicki holds up her hand to the camera so some waggish editor can superimpose the words "They Suck" on her palm as though she wrote it there with a wobbly whiteboard marker. The last of these groups to attempt this technique, the "Dolly Chicks" includes one member who wrote words all the way up to her elbow. This is the group that includes Britnee Kellogg, who had the weight of the group on her shoulders and had to deal with one of the four of them (the one whose forearm is covered in ink, not coincidentally) heading to bed at the decadent hour of 2:30 AM, causing Britnee to have a meltdown. The three of them called it a night at 5:20 AM, only to reunite at 7:00. For their actual performance, it's not much of a surprise that three of them do well and one of them, Haley, stumbles through it. Should have practice more or at least graffitied yourself more legibly. Nicki calls her out for going to bed early and being disrespectful, with all the arm-reading. Still, Haley is among the three group members who get through, while Brandy Neely from the Chicago auditions gets the boot for no reason I can see.

At 8:30 PM, it's time for an update on the last group of the day. The Misfits, which consists of three Plastics and Kez Ban, are apparently dealing with Kez Ban's persistent absence, not just late last night, but also at breakfast and on the bus to the auditorium. They seem entirely prepared to cut her loose, not that I can blame them. Even backstage, she's twitching and dancing and doing weird dances while the other girls look on in confusion. When they finally sing, it turns out that Janelle Arthur is the only one who can actually do so, even though each of them gets a chance. Kez Ban does a big, weird finish, getting another standing O from Nicki for some reason. Nicki loved all of them, especially Janelle and Kez Ban. And it's the end of the day, so the judges are like, "Fuck it," and send them all through. At least that's the only explanation I can think of for all of them making it. Either that or they're so exhausted they've lost track of what kind of competition this is and are keeping Kez Ban purely for how many points her name is worth in Scrabble.

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American Idol

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