American Idol
Hollywood Round, Part 4

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Top 40 of Top 40

We come back after some ads with the judges already stressed out about how they're going to cut anyone from this line, unaware that it's about to get a lot weirder. Before her auditions, Zoanette confesses to the interview camera that she wasn't really feeling the song she was planning to do, so during rehearsal with the band, she just... got behind the drums and made up something new. I'm sure Ray Chew and the guys appreciated that use of their time. And the judges will appreciate this use of theirs, as she ad libs a jazzy four-chord tune about each of them, loses one of her drumsticks, grinds the band to a halt, starts them up again at a different tempo and just generally turns it into one of your more entertainingly frustrating train wrecks. The judges love it -- or pretend to -- because it was ballsy and crazy and all about them.

The group, including all four of the women we've seen so far and a few more, are called out for judgment. Along with a girl named Jet, all four of them get to go on, but the vaguely familiar Kiara Linear and a couple of other randoms are done.

The morning apparently flies by, because it's 11:30 by the time the fabulously named Shubha Vedula returns to the stage to sing "Miracles" but Whitney Houston and Mariah. That latter of whom eats up this heartfelt tribute to herself. Juliana Chahayed, who I don't remember seeing before, also impresses the judges with her version of "Landslide." But of course this is all just a warm-up to the bizarreness that is Kez Ban. We see that Zoanette had to literally -- literally -- drag her into a clothing store for her costume for today's performance. She's also doing an original and is pretty twee in her introduction of it. She says that it's her very favorite original, which is not a surprise, because it ends up sounding like a song that Kez Ban would like. Which is... not good. Also, her voice isn't back, so that doesn't help either. And then there's the overall handicap of just being Kez Ban, all of which combine to put an end to her participation in the competition right here and now. She takes it pretty well, saying her mom loves the show and she wanted to make her proud, and is even willing to stay on as a runner or something. Ryan obliges by making the sound guy let her run the boom mic for a bit. Yeah, look how well that job worked out for Brian on The Office.

We're already to the last group of singers. One of them is Ashlee Feliciano, who has exchanged her giant supportive family for a flatiron to sing Christina Perri's "A Thousand Years," starting really low and ending way high up here. Randy gives her (and the other contestants in the audience) a hard time about song choice and how this is supposed to be fun. Very helpful, Randy, I'm sure they're all going to go out to the lobby and start practicing one of the many happy tunes I'm sure y'all put on the list instead of what they've already chosen and rehearsed. Sure enough, we cut to a montage of highly earnest women bringing the room down, at least until Melinda Ademi comes out to sing a song that's literally about how people are too serious. The judges appreciate her lightening the mood, to say the least, and she looks like a genius who pays attention.

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American Idol

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