Okay 327 people went through Hollywood, some of them more annoyingly than others, Ashley, and now in the smoking wreckage of Group Night we find 100 of them doing the intense business of not losing their shit while we do the last thing: Solo Auditions, before the Chair. All the people with crazy faces make crazy faces, and then they all file into the auditorium with their shticks and instruments and whatever. There's a whole band there for them, which they can use however they like.
Haley Reinhart (20, Milwaukee) is a sometime Bessie Girl with a whole lot of face who later fucked up during Group Night and pissed off J. Lo enough that she got a "skin of your teeth" warning... But today, she totally rocks. She sounds like she is literally getting stabbed to death right onstage, it's great. Like, imagine Leona Lewis but from a bad neighborhood. Her voice is amazing. Her crazy eyes, not so much.
Next is the lovely Ashthon Jones (24, Nashville-ish) was in Ashley's group, which sucks for her, but then she sings the song about how she's not going, because sure, and everybody loves it. There are styling issues ultimately but we'll see what happens. And then Thia Megia (15) has a very deep voice and only a little pageant girl in her...
This episode is weird. They didn't even really fuck around, they were just like, "Here are some pretty girls that can sing. Check out what that is like." You came for the Hunger Games, now stay for the Dreamgirls.
I don't know if it's super nice or super boring or what, I cannot gauge my reaction as yet, but there haven't been that many girls that really surprised me one way or the other in the last five weeks, so maybe this is just the way of things. Wasn't there a year like that? The one with Fantasia. All the girls at once. Do you think that's going to happen again? I don't know if I can handle that, not without Victoria Huggins to fight Molly DeWolf Swensen.
You are right, Victoria Huggins should totally be a Pokémon. But what would her power be? Abrupt slaps to the temple. Knitting needle to the abdomen. Seething lunacy. Gnashing. Those choppers of hers comin' at ya.
Adrian Michael (19, Pearland, TX) starts well, not really that well, and Michael on the keys does one of those cute things he always does. Other Caleb messes up his key, causing Ryan to giggle with Michael. Frances Coontz (16, Santa Ana), I don't even know what she is up to but then, neither does she. Too bad, she's cute as heck. They give her the key and she boots around and is lost a little.