You know, if Carrie Z. had not broken her spirit and if she'd applied one scintilla of effort at any point and had gotten through, this would totally be the room where Elizabeth Pha would have ended up. The trainwreck room. I wish I was there right now so I could go, like, "BOOM!" And watch them all scatter like an anthill. Or stand outside the door and scream "KELLY CLARKSON OH MY GOD" and cause a stampede and thin the herd a little. You know?

So one of these rooms is in, and one is out. Will it be Room Three or Room Four? Suspense. Randy and Paula enter Room Three smiling, so you know it's over and that the noise is going to turn out to actually be the killer and not a cat after all. We see again all the people that matter in this room: Ross, Dezmond, Kurtis, Aa'shia, Larry, Jennifer. The judges withhold a bit long and finally Aa'shia, who couldn't keep her damn mouth closed if her life depended on it because she's a retarded amount of annoying, finally yips, "Okay?" into the silence. The painful truth is revealed and they start crying. Paula makes some rancid lemonade about how they shouldn't "let the dream die," and the dreams immediately start dying all over the place.

Outside the Cuckoos' Nest, Ryan explains the whole self-fucking-evident deal of how the judges know the results but the contestants don't. Which is the point of judges, but also tells you just how faked-up and stupid this part is going to be. Randy starts explaining, explaining, explaining, and Paula's all fake crying and talking about how talented they all are, and it's funny because this causes a sniffle here and there, and they start getting a little louder and more like moans, and there are more and more of them, and it's like when you can hear it start raining, and then there's just crazy noises of crying. Then it hits a wall of some kind and the whole room goes fucking insane. Amanda Avila is in there. They all hug and it's utter chaos. Of course.

Can I tell you how much I absolutely love how they put all the nutjobs in one room, and then made them wait the longest so they'd stew in their own and everybody else's crazy, and then walked into this powder keg with a double-sized box of dicking them around and whipped them into a frenzy with lies and silences? It's gorgeous. Everybody just keeps crying and crying, because that's what they do. Bo Bice is a crazy man. Mikalah says into a phone, "I can't stop crying." It's like those stories you hear about church camp.

Back in the other room, the best thing is when one girl screams, "There is no next year!" Larry starts in immediately hating on everybody that ever had anything nice happen to them. Aa'shia attempts yet again to rally the troops, all, "Who knows what they were looking for?" I raise my hand, but not so high that she'll call on me. She starts yelling impotently into the camera, "I am the hottest thing in this country! I wasn't fed with no silver spoon! But I'm rich!" No Next Year girl and Larry continue to bitch and moan. Ross waves to the camera.