Now Ryan explains how they got to sing "a song of their choice" a cappella for the judges before they were herded like cattle into their four rooms. But I wonder how "of their choice" they really were, since on this entire show I've only heard either A) songs from junior high or earlier, or B) songs by those people whose are the only albums being sold right now because only old people buy albums, like Josh Groban or Alicia Keys or that girl who doesn't know why she didn't come. Neither of which fit under my "choice," exactly. Well, okay: If I were auditioning for American Idol, I would sing that Helen Reddy song where the girl magically traps the man inside her radio.

Now there's: Ross freaking out, Anwar freaking out, Carrie shaking like a freak and then freaking out, Mario being nervous in a dumbass hat, and then a montage of everybody singing, and the people cheering in the audience, which you know I really like. Quick Jaclyn, Sean McNeill, JP, and Scott (looking utterly deranged, as per usual) filing out of the auditionorium as the judges begin their deliberations. It's like the Sorting Hat, only no matter what, you lose.

Then quick shots of the rooms, and this is ridiculous, because it's totally wrong and fake, and calculated to throw you off, because they're actually intercutting shots from different rooms? So it's like the only purpose of this little bit is to, um, show you that the contestants were, like, in some rooms. The rooms contain Lindsay and Jaclyn holding hands, and I think that Mean Girl that wasn't Carrie, Rachel, and the lovely Rashida, and a cleaned-up Sharon. One room contains Aa'shia, and Jennifer Todd in the same shot. So fucking suspenseful. Another room has JP, Bo -- who is looking a thousand times better -- and Anthony, and another room has Carrie Underwood, and some room has Mario. And the rooms also contain 62 other people, because they're all in one of the four rooms. So basically we're done here.

JP is, of course, freaking out and sweating. There's an alien I've never seen before with blonde hair and a wild look. There's effing Dezmond. Amanda Avila, and Shunta (nicknamed in the forums "Shunta Funkup," which rules), and Jaclyn, who thinks she did okay.