JP's confident today. "I believe that I brought it to the table." He takes a seat in The Chair, and looks so adorable and sweet and wholesome. Randy gets kind of weird and goes on and on about how some are going to lose, and some are going to win, and some things are obvious, and other things are self-evident. He deflates because it's clearly a no, and then he JPs out and thanks them one million times and they stare at him, waiting for him to leave.
But he doesn't. "Wow, I didn't think that was what was going to happen, but " So they tell him he made it a long way and had a good journey -- you know what, drink every time they say that word from now on -- and he nods and stares and they all look at each other. This is the point in the evening when you can't find the words to tell your date that the date is over. More staring. They say, "Sorry." And then they stare. And then he kind of clicks in and says, "It's okay you guys, it was nice to meet all of you." He finally stands up. And the staring continues. Randy and Paula hug him, at a loss as to how to get him out of there. Simon shakes his hand, and then a voice-over of him singing "That's Life," and I really think real is underrated. He's like, "I'm 28, and this is it for me." And I want to tell him how wrong he is, and not to buy that shit, but he can't hear me. He's just on TV.
There's some commercial for some show called Life On A Stick, okay, and there's bad acting, and homophobia. I hope it's as awesome as it looks like it's going to be, because the sitcom is dying.
All the people you know already are now doing the math: 15 of the 24 spots have been taken. Amanda Avila does the math and laughs about how each person that makes it lowers her own chances.
Lindsey Cardinale gets called and as a group we remember how in New Orleans she sang in her many pieces of underwear. Now, because everyone's on the brink, she looks fucking broke-ass. She's so pretty, but she's had a horrible day and you can clearly tell. I don't know how it went for real, but in this edit she sits down and Simon immediately tells her she's through to the Top 24. And she's relieved, but not as relieved as she would be if she had her shit together right now, so she just gets up and walks out, happy as can be. God, these people are just all used up. I wish they could all have a big nap. I'd sing to them, a nice lullaby. "Magnet and Steel" by Walter Egan, I think. Sleepy little Idols.