Maybe I do too. They've both kind of acquitted themselves admirably in this awkward little scene and I'm feeling all kinds of love right now.
Lindsey sings "The Woman In Me," wearing underwear as clothing again. Ugh. She has a very pretty, classic, nice pop voice. We don't spend too much time on her because it's a duh.
Today is Jessica's birthday. Who's that, you ask? She's that girl that touched herself in the hallway the night before group performances and tried to fuck the cameraman and, by proxy, me and you. I find her utterly creepy. One of the other contestants sings "Happy Birthday" to her and, of course, she winks into the camera. Jessica Sierra (19, Tampa FL) has had a hard life, and I honestly don't want to know the details, because it's clear things went more awry for her at some point than I am capable of imagining, and that bums me out.
Here, for her Jack in the Box debut into our lives, she is dressed like a homeless person, a man homeless, like a professor of geography, and she is making the faces of rabies. She is also wearing a trampy keyhole top. You know that show The Simpsons? There's that crazy gibbering lady who wanders around town yelling and covered in feral cats? That's what she's reminding me of right now. However, this is offset considerably by the fact that she is singing a totally banging rendition of "The Boys Are Back In Town." Which I love. I only like drastic covers. I still don't find her any less creepy, though.
You know, if Carrie Z. had not broken her spirit and if she'd applied one scintilla of effort at any point and had gotten through, this would totally be the room where Elizabeth Pha would have ended up. The trainwreck room. I wish I was there right now so I could go, like, "BOOM!" And watch them all scatter like an anthill. Or stand outside the door and scream "KELLY CLARKSON OH MY GOD" and cause a stampede and thin the herd a little. You know?
So one of these rooms is in, and one is out. Will it be Room Three or Room Four? Suspense. Randy and Paula enter Room Three smiling, so you know it's over and that the noise is going to turn out to actually be the killer and not a cat after all. We see again all the people that matter in this room: Ross, Dezmond, Kurtis, Aa'shia, Larry, Jennifer. The judges withhold a bit long and finally Aa'shia, who couldn't keep her damn mouth closed if her life depended on it because she's a retarded amount of annoying, finally yips, "Okay?" into the silence. The painful truth is revealed and they start crying. Paula makes some rancid lemonade about how they shouldn't "let the dream die," and the dreams immediately start dying all over the place.