American Idol
Knock It Off (The Box)

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Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now!
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Knock It Off (The Box)

Wednesday

More scary doom music tonight because Ryan is going to attempt some simple arithmetic we've already done any number of times before. There were over some number of people that auditioned, then some other number of people that went to "Hollywood," and one of them got on the wrong bus and got lost and then after some number of days there were a certain number of people left, and then…fewer. And tonight, 24, because one by one each one will sit in The Chair. THE CHAIR! I don't like Willem Dafoe. I think he's grody. But I did enjoy the awful parts in the Spiderman movie where he yelled at The Chair because it was possessed by the Green Goblin or whatever the hell.

So we see some examples of what might happen, if you are in The Chair: Randy's all, "You're not going to make the final," and Paula's talking about "your journey" is going to have to "stop here," and Simon saying, "You're not going through to the next round." It's all so biting and scary and crazy because we've only heard it ninety-nine thousand times before.

The contestants hang around outside before the big ugly: Judd and JP laughing gaily, Tammy laughing insanely, some people, some other people, Anthony and Mario being babes, the gross alien guy watching some girl get all freaked out for real, Bo and Constantine holding court with a Delma, some girl we'll meet tonight, some other girls, somebody that just needs to be alone, Scott alone with a table napkin looking perturbed, the guy Ivan looking like a UT student, to somebody giving the bold viewpoint that "Everybody in this competition is very good, everybody that's here now deserves to be here," and then Faith (Worked in a hotel? Remember? Is not Shunta?), and then awesome Shunta. Ivan smiling again, but we'll see what happens later -- he always looks like he's smoking a cigarette even when he's not. Nice smile, crazy eyes.

Then everybody walking, especially crazy-ass Tammy and Jessica Sierra, and Nadia wearing a cute skirt and hideous Regina boots, and you have no idea about the order, or what they've done, it's just a photo collage, basically, of people you may or may not recognize. Tammy and JP exposit that there's just no telling what will happen. Seacrestiana about how it's a thirty-second ride up to the top and a thirty-second ride down and there are cameras in the elevator, of course, for all the pain. Also, he tells us, the walk to the judges' table is about 60 feet. Somebody walks toward The Chair and voices over about how he's not sure he did "enough." We get it.

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American Idol

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