American Idol
Knock It Off (The Box)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now!
Knock It Off (The Box)

Simon's like, "We've had to make a decision based on the strongest girls and strongest guys today." Oh, okay. Is that good or bad? "It's bad. You haven't made the next round." I haven't? "You haven't." I didn't make it? "You didn't make it." Fucking seriously. And we got to watch it happen.

She wanders out and it's…pretty ugly. "Oh my God, oh my God, this is not even happening," et cetera. And Ryan has to get in on it now and all, "Things went from bad to worse," and she totally gets out on the wrong floor and pushes all the wrong buttons in that six-inch acrylic nails way where she has to angle in parallel to push it with the pad of her finger. I love that. So she gets more and more upset and for a second I think she's going to hurl and then she comes out of the elevator sobbing openly and then makes a general announcement to everybody in the whole world: "I didn't make it, everybody! You thought I was good? I didn't make it!" How do you respond to that? If you're Jaclyn Crum, you burst into freaking tears like you're about to totally die, of course.

"Why didn't I make it? Now I gotta call my mom and I gotta tell her this." It's so ugly. It's just so inappropriate and difficult to watch. Ivan G., who we saw once earlier and never again, tries to be comforting, saying, "Come on, Faith," in a very sympathetic manner. Faith is so not having that.

"'Come on'? Man, give me a break! You know how hard I tried to get here? You're telling me to 'come on,' you know how many doors have closed in my face? All I do is just try for people to like me…I haven't done nothing but be nice to all of y'all, and I don't understand why I didn't make it. I don't even have a life to go back to…I don't have nothing to go back to…this is my dream. Somebody…somebody just…this is all I ever get. Just, always, like…boys, money, jobs, everything. Ooooooh my God, I can't even believe it, just…this is crazy!" And then she runs out into traffic.

It's horrible in lots of ways, but most of all is how deeply painful and mortifying it is, and of course how wrongheaded the whole thing turns out. This kind of thing irritates me to no end. It's like a checklist of bullshit I can't handle: being rude to people who are trying to help because you're so feeling your drama, and how she implicates everybody around her in her breakdown, hate, and then she basically tells them all that she deserves it more than they do because she's a better person, and of course I also hate it because it gives Jaclyn Crum yet another excuse to lose her shit altogether. And that Ryan runs out after her to try and calm her crazy ass down, and that takes away from him comforting JP, which is more fun and slightly less annoying. I mean, JP's just as much of a drama queen, but at least he's not acting ignorant as he does it.

Ryan talks some bullshit about how much pressure she's under, and it's kind of hot, but mostly because -- as some forum posters also decided -- it seems likely he's just trying to get her mic back. "Just take a breath. There's a lot of emotion right now in this. You've been working really hard for a long time, there's a lot of pressure. It's on national television. It's a big deal, I know. Just take a breath, just take moment. Just…" It's a funny mixture of telling her exactly what she does not need to hear, on the way to trying to make her feel better about everything. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't help. She's in the tall grass, emotionally speaking.

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American Idol




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