Finally, we get back to Ryan with a cute haircut, telling us next week's agenda: Monday it's the guys, Tuesday it's the ladies, and Wednesday it's the results. Then he names the final contestants as they dance like utter toolboxes in front of the camera: Judd Harris with the deep circles under his eyes, David Brown of the Lord, Bo Bice, Mario Vazquez in yet another awful hat, Anthony Federov, Travis Tucker, Scott Savol, Nikko Smith, Jared Yates with the sideburns, Joseph Mureno who at this moment completely changes my opinion of him through the power of dance, Constantine Maroulis, and Anwar Robinson are the guys.
Women: Nadia Turner, Selena Rae, Janay Castine, Lindsey Cardinale, Jessica Sierra, Melinda Lira, Vonzell Solomon, Amanda Avila, Mikalah Gordon, Carrie Underwood, Sarah Mather, and Aloha Micheaux, with a big stupid flower in her hair. There's no talk about how it's going to work (for three weeks, the bottom two "boys" and bottom two "girls" get voted out, until there are 12 total left), but basically it's like, "Just watch this show all the fucking time, every time you turn your TV on, and when there's no American Idol, that means it's the day we watch The O.C., and then it's Friday." Seacrest out.