American Idol
American Idol

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | 279 USERS: C
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Filler Filler

The judges love it, of course, because they've been kissing his ass for this exact thing all along. Jennifer says she's not really surprised with the top four, "even Hollie," and that she liked the "dramma." Steven says that "courage is fear that's said its prayers," whatever that means, and Randy says that he's glad Joshua's here, "because you validate what we say." Which is what really matters. Ryan says something to Josh about Mother's Day coming up, since he just sang a song to his dad, and gives the voting instructions and goes to ads, promising Jessica singing Etta James. That should be interesting. We have the whole commercial break to try to calculate how many entire Jessica Sanchezes could fit inside one Etta James.

Jessica talks about wanting to be on American Idol since she was five. "I literally can't do anything but sing. That's why I'm here." She talks about the experience of actually getting to meet other people, which could be really sad depending on how you interpret it, and how she can't believe she's one of the last four. Her first song tonight is "Steal Away," and clearly Jimmy has given up on not letting her sing songs that are too old for her. It's all bluesy and torchy but with loud horns and not really a showcase for what she can actually do.

Rather than talking about the performance she just heard, Jennifer wants to ask her about the part of the intro-reel when she was seven years old and did a vocal growl onstage. Steven says he's working on an Etta James song of his own, and she nailed this one. The expert has spoken. Randy just likes the vibe of a sixteen-year-old singing the blues, and trots out the cliché about how Jessica can sing the phone book. Why doesn't she sing her voting numbers, then, instead of letting Ryan recite them? After the ads, Jessica tells us backstage that she's secretly 65 years old. Well, that explains it.

Ready for another awkward duet from Josh and Phil? They're doing "This Love" by Maroon Five. I don't have much to say about it, other than that I could probably do without the ebony and ivory pianos that are on the stage with them. Josh blows Phillip away again, which I'm starting to suspect is the point of the whole exercise. Phillip knows better than to try to hug Josh after this one.

American Idol

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