Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now!
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are pleased. Simon remembers wondering if she was good enough to make the finals, and takes the opportunity to say publicly now that he was wrong -- is in case we forget, sometimes this is a singing competition -- and the floor should now consider itself wiped with Blake. True, Inside The Show. She cries a bunch more and Ryan's like, "Need a chair?" She agrees that it's overwhelming; out in the audience Kathy Griffin wipes away a tear in what's clearly a subtle but graphically hateful attack on Clay Aiken and all his fans, because she's such an obsessive, unfunny bitch and he's all she can think about. Aren't you so creeped out by people that get obsessed with like one irrelevant celebrity and beat it into the ground forever, like creepy perverts? Man. That Kathy Griffin really needs to get a life and stop obsessing about pointless fucking Clay Aiken, because it's really embarrassing. Everybody in the world chants JORDIN! JORDIN! JORDIN! and Ryan's like, "If you like her, vote for her." They talk for about four hours, he's totally touched and into the whole vibe. It's intense. Recappenstein: "You Give Love A Bad Name," with an awesome bass drum and much running about. "She Will Be Loved," both pensive and smarmy. And then "This Is My Now," with a buncha bouncing around and silliness and boredom for everybody. Then: "Fighter," all angry and awesome and solid; a very nice "Broken Wing"; and "This Is My Now," doing it up right and crying at just the right moment, even during rehearsal. Turns out the other emotion Jordin can manufacture is Her Now. The judges are still wowing that Simon admitted he was wrong one time, because that's all they have to talk about, and then apparently there's stuff going on we wouldn't get to see even if FOX understood TiVo, because DAUGHTRY's setting up onstage for some useless entertaining, so Paula interrupts herself kissing Blake's ass to scream, "CHRIS!" Which was confusing for those of us, you know, out here, because is it so far outside reality that she would scream the wrong name at Blake? Randy says Jordin wins the night and it's a singing competition, okay, and Paula calls them all winners and refers mysteriously to those future events we don't know about, and Simon points out that Blake was great on the first song but that is it. Paula goes on some more about how they're all winners, and Simon finally addresses the camera about it, while Paula continues to babble. Everything in its right place.