Carrie gets a line and Bo takes a lovely counterpoint, Vonzell gets exactly half of a line before Scott jumps in with her -- and that's all she's getting, by the way -- Constantine and Anwar sing together, then for some reason nobody sings for awhile. Oops. Constantine and Carrie sing, Scott runs some more, and they all scream their asses off. Somehow, besides Bo, obviously, and Constantine, sadly, Carrie comes off amazingly competent and relaxed. She looks very comfortable with the guitar, very adult and cool, and it occurs to me that if she would just go the singer-songwriter route, like do some Mary Chapin Carpenter or something, I'd know about her for sure, because either she would blow my head off with greatness, or make it explode with definitive sucking, but either way I'd know. In terms of message, we get that the Unquestionable Bo's "I'm just, I'm just Harold from the block" should be rubbing off on Carrie because she's also a Real Musician, Constantine is the wild card who takes chances and is super-special, and Vonzell and Scott are doomed. No alarms, no surprises.
Then the hated tones of "Rock This Town" for this week's pimpomercial, played out in a repulsive and sickening style I have not seen before, where the bodies are very tiny and the heads are very large and warped and creepy and photo-real, while everything else is cartoon, and they all seem to be having '50s hairstyles (which makes sense, given this week's theme has literally nothing to do with that), and it's disgusting to look at, and then Vonzell spills "milkshake" all over Constantine's face and he stares stupidly out at the camera and it's gross on every level, from the Bratz/Steve Madden feel to Constantine's horrible "milkshake"-covered face, which proves that it in fact can be even worse to look at, if you just put it through an Uglifying Rotoscoping Horror Machine Device. Each week a new offense, and each week I have no idea it's coming, or that these new techniques to freak me out are even being developed.
Ryan jokes about Anwar's D.A. in the pimpomercial, like that was period, and then we review how last night was so very energetic. Anwar got down on it for the first time ever, but did not pop. Carrie and her clothes were great, Constantine became Boy George, Scott and Anthony were great or else they weren't or something, Vonzell again did the impossible, and Bo is the best thing since sliced bread, but is even more American and authentic than any bread we know of. There's nothing better than Bo Bice! He's simply the best thing we have! In this world!













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