American Idol
Results Show

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admin: B | 1 USERS: B+
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May the Best Woman Win

There's a long, long recap of last night's top six show that covers everything but the actual singing, and then we're on to the credits and the big entrances. Ryan promises performances from not one but two Idol alumni tonight: both Kelly Clarkson and Scotty McCreery, as well as some results that he makes sound positively pyrotechnical. But first there's a Burt Bacharach/Hal David medley sung by the top six. It's started off by a body-snatcher who has taken over Janelle's physical form but neglected to learn to sing, which completely ruins the illusion. Then Angie gets a turn with some other deep track, then Kree with "Always Something There to Remind Me," which is the first of these songs I know and that only because of Naked Eyes. Lazaro croons us back to obscurity with some song he doesn't know much better than I do and I don't know it at all. Amber and Candice throw in a duet of "A House Is Not a Home" like they're breaking up with each other, and now I've heard twice as many Burt Bacharach songs in my life as I had as of this time last night. Then they all unite for a chorus of "That's What Friends Are For." Hmm, to watch each other slowly vanish one at a time? They get a standing ovation at the end, I guess because the judges couldn't figure out how to get up for only four or five of them.

Esta Fiesta Mission! This one actually has some potential, as the top six head to a large downtown rooftop marked out like a soccer field so they can use cars to kick a giant soccer ball around. Unfortunately, they're just taking turns bumping in foul shots one at a time rather than actually mixing it up. This would be a lot more entertaining if there were actual fouls first.

Back in the auditorium, the finalists are in position on the bleacher-couches as Ryan cues up half of a Jimmy-reel, covering last night's performances by Kree, Angie and Lazaro. Jimmy thinks Kree gave two more beautiful performances, but she's going to need to show more personality, which he believes is in there. So I'm not the only one starting to notice her blank eyes, then. He thinks Angie did a competent job, but not enough to win the night. Jimmy gives credit to Lazaro for making it this far, but says his first song last night was "like an Ambien milkshake." Jimmy admits he's been proven wrong on Lazaro before, and says he'd rank him tenth. "There's only six singers, Jimmy," someone says dutifully from off-camera, and Jimmy says he knows. Okay, that was a little mean.

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American Idol

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