At 8:00 PM, Chicago is winding down, which Randy comments on. You know those people who narrate everything and never say anything interesting? Randy's their patron saint. Outside the audition room, Ryan sits on a couch next to a handsome young dude in a teal shirt and purple bowtie. In front of the judges, this fellow introduces himself as Lazaro from Cuba by way of Florida, which takes a while because he's living with a serious stutter. His parents tell us in subtitled Spanish that he started stuttering at age six and nothing seemed to improve it. Indeed, moving to the U.S. shut him down almost entirely. His dad tells us how he doesn't have many friends, so music is his life. He tells the judges that he's going to sing "Bridge Over Trouble Water," and Mariah makes the rookie mistake of completing the thought for him. When Lazaro breaks into song, of course he turns out to have a flawless voice and performance style. "Just sing all the time," Keith tells him, also unhelpfully. It's a whole panel of Lionel Logues here. Randy marvels about how the stammer vanishes when he sings, as though that's not quite common. Lazaro is in tears as they pile on the positive feedback, and Randy counts off yet another simultaneous, unanimous yes. Lazaro is going to Hollywood. Somehow, Randy refrains from blaring into his incredulous face, "Did we stutter?"

Ryan tells us that 46 other people made it through from the Chicago auditions, with lots of clips of people jumping, screaming, and shooting Silly String. So we're done with Chicago. And like I said before, I'm done with my current cable box.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis- based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.