American Idol
Second Verse, Same As The First

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I Believe I Can Cry

Tuesday. We open exactly the same way as last week, except with headshots of tonight's ten finalists. Blah blah blah, their "fates" are in your hands. Oh, if only.

Credits. Black and Decker greet us from The Octagon of Judgment to remind us that we voted Tamyra, Ryan, and Jim on to the finals. We'll be seeing another ten contestants tonight, and voting yet again for three to move on. You. Voting. Phones. Free. Wait until after the show. I'm just going to go with "blah blah blah votecakes" every time there's a reference to the phone voting, because it's just so repetitive and tiresome, not to mention pointless to recap because the voting's already done.

After a quick shot of tonight's kids hanging out in Pimp Central, we are introduced to the judges again: Randy, Paula, and Simon. I think that it's in Paula's contract that she must be referred to as a "pop diva legend" whenever they introduce her. Brian asks Simon if he's getting any fan mail other than those "from prison." Jealous much? Brian's such a sad, creepy little man. He's what they've turned Ted into over on Queer as Folk. Ryan is wearing an incredibly gay pink button-up shirt with a '70s collar and burgundy pants. Simon describes it as "going straight from Star Trek [from last week] to Saturday Night Fever." Simon is wearing a white shirt, as opposed to his usual all-black look.

We get another clip show of the kids arriving to the studio for vocal training and fashion "makeovers." The fashion consultant is still unidentified. I really don't think the kids even listen to her. In a new addition to the clips, we see the kids heading out for lunch, only to be accosted by folks who recognize them. Unfortunately, I mean "accosted" in the "Ooh! Slightly famous people!" sense, not in the "Eww! You need to shut up and put a damn shirt on!" sense. Tenia signs some boy's back. Alexis signs another autograph while the kids we've never seen before probably hang around uncomfortably in the background, unrecognized and pissed because they weren't featured at all during the auditions.

Black and Decker voice-over that the kids also get some "psychological coaching to handle the pressures of the day." Some random production assistant tells the kids they need to find some way to release their tension and relax, because they wouldn't have thought of that otherwise. It's just a really awkward set-up to A.J., Justin (Eeeeeeee!), and Gil saying they've found a way to release stress by throwing darts at Simon's picture. Ick. Don't go dragging the kids into your lame jokes. They don't deserve that. Well, most of them don't.

We return back to Pimp Central and Black and Decker to introduce the evening's performances. Brian tries to do that fist bap thing with Jamar, but Jamar totally ignores him. Brian will be crying himself to sleep again tonight. They introduce our first performer tonight, Alexis. They don't even bother with pre-interviews this time. It's not like Black and Decker ever ask anything interesting anyhow. As Alexis heads out, Brian hollers after her, "Make Daddy proud!" Ew. Can't you just see Brian driving up next to a playground in a white van?

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American Idol

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