American Idol
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You Don't Have To Go Home, But You Can't Fame-Whore Here

A montage of crying and worrying leads us to the news that another round of cuts is soon to come. Hey, what happened to Bri's performance? And missing Model Lisa? Geez, guys, it's called "payoff." You seemed to have figured it out with Jesus and Michael. Why the hell didn't we get to see what happened with Bri's group and Lisa's group? Even if it turned out they didn't suck, I would at least liked have to known. Some kids are confident they'll stay. Some are confident they'll be cut. Especially that one standing outside bawling. Yeah, I think she's a goner. Whoever she is.

Commercials. When we return, Ryan tells us that it only took the judges ten minutes to pick thirty to cut. Yeah, there really seemed to be a lot of musical deadwood here. They've gone back to the kickball team line-up form of rejection. Clifford is cut in the first group, along with Draeh Hancock, whom we never got to hear sing again. They even flashback to the judges' comments about how they didn't know how she'd do the next round, but invited her anyway, which makes it even more annoying that we don't even know. There's some confusion, and they almost cut Matt Rogers by accident. Bao is cut, as is Jasmine Arteaga. Now I have to specify that I'm referring to the shorter Jasmine, because apparently there's another one in the competition we never see. Meleana's whole group is cut. Lana is cut as well. And Michael is cut as well. Ha ha! Oily skeeveball! Of course, he's not going to take it lying down, because he still can't understand why we all aren't seeing his name in lights in our heads. He reminds Simon that Simon said great things about him when he first auditioned. But then Simon discovered Michael was thisclose to performing a Bill Murray lounge act, and changed his mind. Simon blandly tells Michael that he did well to make it this far, but just didn't stand out today. Michael threatens to audition again next year. I think they cut Michael just because he was so damned slimy -- he was still a better singer than the other two guys in his group. And Alan. All of whom remain in the competition. I love it. Ryan tells us that fifty-seven remain in the competition. There's Bri. I'm still mad about not seeing the baby dyke (don't send me hate mail -- I can say that) dance along to "Can't Hurry Love." The kids all start getting ready for their final solo performances tomorrow. For some, this means getting some rest. For Nicole, of course, it means hamming it up to the cameras some more. I get tired just watching her.

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American Idol




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