American Idol
Thanks For Scaring!

Episode Report Card
Shack: B- | Grade It Now!
You Don't Have To Go Home, But You Can't Fame-Whore Here

Commercials. We return to see Jon breakdancing. That's just sad and wrong. In Room #2, George continues to be forty-four, but isn't quite as happy and upbeat as he normally is. Sarah Silva is in the room too, and looks as though she knows she's doomed. They show Simon's comments to her that she reminds him of Kelly Clarkson when she sings, except that she doesn't have the personality that follows. When she's not singing, Simon doesn't remember who she is. Trashcan Loin is in this group, too, and they show clips of him "flirting" with various women in the competition. Because there's no possibility that he could just be talking to them or anything. Nicole is in this group, and we're reminded that she's annoying. The judges come in, and the kids are all huddled together in the corner of the room, for some unknown reason. It's really odd. I guess it's so that the cameras could get a "group shot" for the reactions. Randy tells them all to give themselves a round of applause for making it this far. Because they're cut. Out! Goodbye! You're all too old, to skeevy, too lousy, or too crazy to continue in the competition. Some girl who wasn't listening closely enough thinks they actually made it, and starts to get up to celebrate, before realizing what happened. Heh. That's embarrassing, although the people around her chuckle, so maybe it cut their despair just a tad. So off they go. Buh-bye!

That leaves Room #3. Amy, Erskine, Eric, Jennifer, Fantasia, and Bri are all in this room. The judges come in, and Paula shows she can try to play mind games too as she starts off all sad. Of course, she can't contain herself for very long, and takes all of three seconds to tell them they made it. Everybody bounces and hugs each other (including Bri, for those on the forums who were arguing about it).

We cut to Ryan with the final thirty-two onstage. Jonah and Matthew Metzger made it too, we discover. Ryan reminds us to get our voting finger ready, because the semi-finals start next week. The first group of eight we'll see perform consists of Fantasia Barrino, Diana Degarmo, Jennifer Hudson, Marque Lynche, Matthew Metzger, Ashley Thomas, Erskine Walcott, and Katie Webber. Of course, chances are good that at least half of them will have changed their names by now and one of them got ejected for some recently discovered indiscretion. But we'll have to tune it to find out.

Fuck. I still haven't figured out a new gimmick for the recaps this season. Oh, why did Tsathoggua have to run off to build his army?

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American Idol




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