R.J. heads up to Black and Decker, and Brian is a moron, so let's move on. They ask him if song selection was tough. He says it was hard, because he's not familiar with anything from the big band era. Guh. That's as bad as Nikki not knowing "Heartbreaker." It's like some of these kids actually have no aspirations greater than a flash-in-the-pan, two-year pop career. Black and Decker make a stupid joke about R.J. trying not to stain his suit, and nobody laughs. Blah blah blah votecakes.

Before they go to commercials, it's time for another awful [product-placed cola] moment. Black and Decker make an awful, unfunny joke about blowing their own trumpets. Nobody laughs. The two of them have no choice but to blow their own trumpets, because nobody else will. Anyway, the stupid clip show features the kids "sneaking" into the studio when nobody is around and trying to play a band member's trumpet. Purse your lips, guys! None of them can do it, of course. It's all stupid. In the end, Nikki tries to play and fails. Then she takes a swig of [product-placed cola] and as a result can suddenly play reveille. I shake my head and cry. The only thing worse than this skit, besides the skit they're going to do tomorrow, are the preview commercials for all the new sitcoms premiering on NBC in the fall. Those things make me curl up into the fetal position.

Commercials. Old people are funny when they try to eat candy bars!

It's time for our final performer, Kelly "Gettin' Sentimental Over You" Clarkson. Given the poll results in the last recaps, not to mention the number of female posters on the boards that Kelly has unknowingly rendered bi-curious, she has inherited Justin's (Eeeeeee!). In her clip show, Kelly (Eeeeeee!) explains that she tried to make it in Hollywood once before, but it didn't work out. Apparently, the experience bummed her out, and her friends were the ones that pushed her to audition for the show. No wonder she says she'll never forget them.

Kelly (Eeeeeee!) heads out to the stage to perform "Stuff Like That There." She's definitely dressed for the era with a black-and-white polka-dotted dress, pearls, and period hair. She's reminiscent of that era's equivalent of the "tough, no-nonsense girl" in the movies. You know -- the one with all the moxie who didn't take no guff from nobody. Then, in the final act, the main character, having lusted after the vampy bombshell blonde the whole film, discovers that he's really been in love with the no-nonsense girl all along.