He throws the show to Ryan, waiting in Pimp Central with R.J. "Ain't Misbehavin'" Helton. Isn't this like the third time that the two of them have ended up together? People are starting to talk. Ryan sends R.J. off to the stage while we get his clip show. R.J.'s been singing since he was a wee boy. He talks to his "best friend," Amanda, two or three times a day for support or whatever. We never see her, but it's probably safe to assume that she's the Angela Chase to his Ricky Vasquez. R.J. explains that he gets nervous on stage. I'm completely surprised by that revelation. Also, I'm blind. And who knew that Foreshadowing is also a film editor? His ski-dancing is an attempt to keep from falling down, because his knees are shaking during the performances. He says that all the other kids are like his new family now. And just like a real family, each week, one of them will be ejected from the house.
R.J. heads out to The Octagon to sing "I Won't Dance." Snerk. "I Can't Dance" is more like it. R.J. is wearing an entirely white suit (jacket, tie, everything), with black shoes. To me, he looks like the second groom in a gay wedding. Groom #1 wears the traditional black tux, and it would be tacky if the two of them dressed exactly the same, so Groom #2 wears something white with a different style. If I ever get married, I'll definitely have to be Groom #1. White doesn't suit me at all.
From the very first notes, R.J. looks lost, scared, and alone. His voice is thin and gets drowned out by the band. He has no stage presence or emotion. He forgets the words at one point (the song title, ironically), and stares at the audience, wide-eyed, like they're all Nazi storm troopers with machine guns, waiting for him to finish singing before they blow him away. He's so out of his league here. I actually worried that he was going to wet his pretty white pants. He gets wild cheers from the audience when he's done anyway.
Judges. Randy says he thought the song was boring and didn't do R.J. justice. Paula says she's always been a fan of R.J.'s singing, but doesn't think his rendition compared to the giants like Fred Astaire who have performed it before. She thinks he should have "broken out" a little more. Well, he nearly broke out in hives, but I don't think that counts. Rather than being his blunt self, Simon soft-sells his criticism, telling R.J. that there are simply two or three singers in the competition better than him, and he didn't shine tonight. He does compliment R.J. for recovering quickly once he forgot the lyrics.