American Idol
The Silencing Of The Lamb

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Now it's time to let somebody off the hook. Black and Decker mention that Nikki has already packed her bags. There's this long, strange conversation where Nikki explains that she's packed her stuff up, but didn't really pack her stuff up, because the stuff she has at the house…whatever, the point is that Nikki is safe this week. She lives to faux-rock another night. She gives R.J. a huge hug and whispers something soothing in his ear, perhaps telling him that his programming will be fixed by next week, if he makes it. Black and Decker act as though Christina is actually up there on stage next to R.J. before sending it to a final round of commercials. R.J. stands there, alone and uncomfortable, hoping he didn't accidentally download a virus along with some Bible quotes last week.

Commercials. If you take the contents of a steak burrito and throw them into a bowl, it's like a completely different dish.

When we return, it's time for the rejection. Black and Decker mention that R.J. said he's sure it will be him. R.J. explains that Christina gave a great performance, while he "struggled." In the audience, some idiot girl shouts, "I love you, Justin!" Heh. After all that, and a truly awful performance to boot, R.J. is safe this week. Christina has been sent packing back to Little Bo Peep. And she's not even there! This is just the weirdest thing I've ever seen on a reality-show competition. R.J. heads back to the couch and into the arms of the other four finalists. Christina gets her farewell clip show, explaining that she's dreamed about being an American Idol her whole life. There are clips of her singing, laughing with her mom, and declaring that she'll always be Christina. They replay the part where Simon admits he has a crush on her. She repeats that she's having a heck of a summer vacation. Well, except for the hospitalization and all.

The kids all are all crying on the sofas while Black and Decker ask the judges for parting comments. Randy tells Christina to "keep doing [her] thing," and says he disagrees with the vote. Paula blathers on about how Christina is a lady and handled adversity with grace and dignity and blah blah blah she'll totally buy Christina's record, then adds, "But I hope I get it for free, because I kind of know you." Paula delivers this whole speech to the stage as though Christina is actually up there. And -- what "adversity"? She's been stroked by the judges this whole damned competition. Simon believes that Christina lost out because of his obvious "favoritism" in her direction. Well, I was certainly sick of hearing about it, but I don't vote at all, so don't blame me. Simon thinks America voted wrong and tells R.J. that he got "incredibly lucky."

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American Idol

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