American Idol
The Winner Takes It All

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Your American Idol -- until next year

Tuesday. Melodramatic Announcer melodramatically reminds us that Nikki was ejected last week. It turns out that she was actually the lucky one. Tonight, Kelly and Justin will battle it out at the [Product-Placed Camera] Theatre for final ownership of the (Eeeeeee!).

Credits. The audience of the [Product-Placed Camera] Theatre is absolutely packed. There's Harry Connick Jr. Go show Justin how it's done, Harry. There's Tori Spelling sitting right behind him. It's not like she has anything else going on. There are other people who I am assuming are famous, but I don't know who they are.

Ryan "What Are You Doing With A Fool Like Me" Seacrest and Brian "How Can I Live" Dunkleman head out onto the stage, wearing ill-fitting pinstriped suits. The Octagon of Judgment is gone. That's kind of funny because, apparently, last week's show actually took place in this theater as well, and they built up the stage, including the Octagon, to make it look just like the old stage. But The Octagon just isn't good enough for a show of this scope. Poor little Octagon. Incidentally, the theater is incredibly overlit for the sole purpose of showing us viewers at home how many thousands of people are there. I hope they dim it down a bit for the performers. You could perform surgery on stage with all the lights. Black and Decker introduce themselves, with Dunkleman making a stupid joke that his name is German for "and we're live!" And then after he says that stupid joke, he reminds the audience that it's their cue to cheer and gives them a look. Did you watch the Oscars in 1999? Director Elia Kazan was given an honorary Oscar for lifetime achievement, and some considered it controversial because Kazan had helped the House Un-American Activities Committee root out Communists in Hollywood back in the '50s. Robert DeNiro was one of the presenters handing Kazan the Oscar, and after he called Kazan up to the podium, he gave the audience a look that suggested that he was memorizing the faces of anybody not applauding the man and would be giving said folks a good "talking to" following the ceremony. That's the look that Dunkleman gives the audience. It's like he came out just before the show started with a big jar full of mosquitoes infected with the West Nile Virus, and told the audience members that they're going to give him some love tonight or else. That look was a reminder about the mosquitoes. Later during the show, a gaggle of girls shout, "We love you, Dunkleman!" Again, mosquitoes.

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American Idol

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