To review: Lisa and her brow full of anger and also eyebrows. Kellie singing the word "blink" and giving us a wink. Might've been better off leaving that shit to Bucky. Ace showing off one of what could very well be many lasting physical deformities. Taylor with his death grip on the mic stand. Mandisa's voice going for the heavens and only attaining the troposphere. Chris being completely washed out by the super-hardcore lighting scheme. Kat McPhee urging Captains Picard and Reynolds to look inside themselves and trust the voice within. Bucky gyrating. Yeah, I'm over it. Paris working it right the hell out. And Elliott bounce-bounce-bouncing his way to the performance of the evening.
Ryan reminds how last night the final ten "faced the wrath of the judges." Yeah, and the wrath of everyone else. That was brutal, everyone but Paris and Elliott and maybe Taylor. Unable to fake a smile during the Usual Suspects line-up this week? Elliott, Lisa, Katharine, Bucky, and Chris. Half of them. How are we supposed to like you when you can't be fake happy all the time? What are you, actual human beings? Nuts to that. Smiling or not, one of them is going home.
As Ryan walks onstage, we're treated to the apex and the nadir of random AI audience members as we get rapid fire shots of Jessica Sierra (yay!) and Justin Guarini (ew!). Jessica is looking as gorgeous as ever, while I'm beginning to realize that as much as I may have made fun of Justin's curly explosion of hair in the past, it really was the only thing holding his appearance together. Dude looks like holy hell without it. Sign: "Ryan Seacrest is My American Idol!" I can't see whether Mario Vasquez is holding it up for not. Ryan seems to think we can all appreciate how nerve-wracking it is to have come this far and be in danger of losing out tonight. Um, no we can't. Is he speaking only to Jessica and Justin? As we gaze upon our Top 10, we see Kellie and Paris have both gone bouffant-poof crazy, while Lisa has chosen to wear one of Mandisa's poncho tops. The judges aren't as color-coordinated as they were last week, though Randy has still managed to keep his shirt and his glasses as synched up as ever. Think he has a humidor for all those specs? Paula has a crazier look in her eye than usual. My hope is that she and Jessica got their liquid lunch on earlier. Instead of a performance run-down, Ryan throws us to a recap of the contestants' busy week. First up are the rigors of the red carpet. Kellie gets photographed looking about ten times prettier than she looked last night or tonight. They've also got photo shoots and rehearsals to go to. Man, Heather Cox wasn't kidding about that no-time-to-eat thing. Elliott ruins it for all of us by sporting the dreaded Kangol hat/b-boy pose combination. We see Bucky getting the face applied. Sure, slather whatever the hell you want to on his face, just keep your queer little paws off his chicken. Ryan voice-overs about the "perks" of living the Hollywood lifestyle. Perks such as getting to shill for the corporate synergy marketing blitz on Fox's latest animated box office assault. You knew this segment wasn't going to end well. Bucky in a makeup chair is like a perspective shot from behind the bushes. You just know some bad shit is about to go down.