Anyway, it's Lisa who is going home as Ryan mercifully lets her down easy. Katharine tells Lisa she loves her (aw) and heads back to the loving arms of Kellie Pickler (I'll assume). Ryan calls Lisa one of the bravest contestants ever to appear on Idol, which is a random way of describing her. She says all the right things. "Experience of a lifetime," et cetera. Daniel Powter once again narrates her video journey. She was Simon's favorite sixteen-year-old. Her family was -- have I mentioned? -- wicked hot and fantastic. Lisa was so great. Not memorable as a singer, but I like knowing that this kid has got her whole life ahead of her and gets to be whoever the hell she wants to be. I have no worries about Lisa Tucker. Except when she tries to sing "Because of You." It's just not her best song. Poor Paris has tears streaming down her face. That's totally genuine, too, I'm not even going to try and say otherwise. Paris lost her entire high school drama cast real quick, didn't she? Will, Kevin, and Lisa -- boom, boom, boom. Kellie, to her credit, isn't fake crying. She's singing along with the song, which is a total Kellie thing to do. The best thing about this is that Lisa's anger faces are gone. It looks like she's actually suppressing a smile. She can relax now, it's over. The final nine walk to the center of the stage and stand behind her as she sings her way off our TV screens. Paris is a fucking wreck, it's so sad. Right before we sign off, Lisa lets loose with the biggest smile ever. She did it! Top ten on American Idol! Just try and not be at least a little bit happy for that.
Next week will feature country night and Jacob. Thank Mandisa it's not me.