Randy's laughing his ass off, because he already knows he's going to hate all the songs tonight. He doesn't think the song was "exciting enough" for Kellie's voice. Paula agrees that Kellie is "too good" for the song. If I were in the mood to look for shenanigans, I'd suggest that the judges were looking to knock Kellie down a peg or two but weren't yet willing to give up the ghost on how inferior a singer she is relative to the rest of the competition. So they went the "it's not you, it's the song" route. Personally, I thought it was the second best performance she's given, after "I'm the Only One." Simon gets annoyed with the hardcore country vibe, saying out of the "thousands and thousands" of songs she had to choose from, she had to pick the one with the most corn-pone title. Well, yeah. What the hell kind of image did you think she was cultivating all these weeks? I know Simon's been more partial to the empty-headed sex kitten routine, but if he's been paying attention, he'd know that bare feet hanging out the window of a pickup truck are what Kellie's been building up to since January. Kellie thinks the song is "cute." Simon calls it a gimmicky rodeo song. They're both right, actually. Then Kellie fakely apologizes, revealing every one of her layers at once. Randy can't take this bout of fake meanness, so he calls Ryan in from the wings like he's been doing all season. Ryan, awesomely, says, "I can't save you like this every time, Jackson." I wonder if Randy's been doing this everywhere. Like they're in hair and makeup and he and Simon are having a tiff over global warming or whether that Britney birthing statue represents a true pro-life political statement or is just an attention grabber, and Randy has to call Ryan in because Simon's getting too heated.
Episode Report CardJoe R: C- | 572 USERS: C+
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