Randy says Taylor's song wasn't exactly bad, but it didn't allow him to "show off" enough. Taylor sort of laughs in Randy's face about it, and says he just wanted to sing this week. The unspoken clause at the end there is, "As opposed to acting like a monkey on a string for the umpteenth week in a row." I don't think Taylor was laughing at Randy, so much as having a little chuckle to himself as to just how tight a corner he's painted himself into with the Cocker affectations. Paula is actually right on Taylor's tip, though, saying it was refreshing to see him just stand up there behind a mic and sing. Wow. Um. Word, Paula? That sounds so weird. But she's totally right. So of course she immediately begins to pile on the bullshit about Taylor being an "old soul" and "teaching the new generation" about the blue-eyed soul from days of yore. Simon "quite liked" the song and found the vocal to be "excellent." Howevah, the only problem that he has is Taylor's outfit, which he deems "very Clay Aiken." (Me: "You see?" Liz: "Okay! Shut up!") Paula, hilariously, says not in a million years could Clay "pull that off." Hee. Simon, ever the one-upper: "I'm not saying he could've, darling." Awesome. The camera does a slow pan up what we could conceivably dub "five pounds of Clay in a ten-pound bag," if we're being honest. Simon says Taylor's appeal has always been that he was different, and this new getup has him looking a bit "pop school"? Is that what he said? Goofy Brits. Everybody has a good laugh at this except for Ryan, who rushes onstage to make a lame "If Taylor is Clay, then Simon is Kelly Clarkson" joke. No, it doesn't make any sense, beyond the fifth grade "Simon = girl; girls = lame; Simon = lame" syllogism. Then he shows some metro solidarity with Taylor's clothes -- not with Taylor, mind you, but with his gay-ass outfit -- before riding off into the sunset on his noble steed.
Episode Report CardJoe R: C- | 572 USERS: C+
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