American Idol
Top 24: Girls

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
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A Lousy Candle's All I Found
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Ryan works his way down the girls lined up on the steps, giving them high fives and critiquing their outfits -- "Love the earrings, love the red" -- and hugging Lakisha quickly before he hits the camera to tell us about how the boys were kind of sucky last night, and then there's a long, long redux of the guys' performances, which we are able to see for ourselves were mostly kind of sucky, as stated. Ryan enunciates a whole lot and then the girls go running past the camera all cute and Ryan goes, "What up girls?" Then he exhorts us to have some fun. There will be fun, to a certain extent. Not two hours' worth of fun, really, but when has this show ever fit snugly around the volume of fun it contains? Never. He dicks with Randy for complaining about being unoriginal and then complaining about them taking risks, and Randy calls him "baby." Paula tells the Dawg Pound that they did not let her down, but that they were kind of sucky. Simon is very nice about Paula and Randy's opinions, and then he and Ryan kind of make out a little bit. Simon says that Chris Sligh being a dork to Simon last night made him happy, in a way, and Ryan keeps poking and poking about how it broke Simon's heart and shows a picture of Simon being pissed. Simon asks politely that Ryan leave him the fuck alone and stop being bratty; Ryan does not understand this request.

Worthless montage of them not actually auditioning but jumping around and screaming the word Hollywood and then Ryan getting kind of Cory Kennedy at the camera while a gay house dance remix of "Breathe Me" plays, for some reason. Which reminds me: Patrick Wolf rules. Find a way to hear some Patrick Wolf this week. It's trippy and unending, this sequence, but not interesting at all. When we return to the show, to quote "get the party started," we see Stephanie Edwards.

Her deal is that she sang "God Bless The Child" and is 19 years old and has a very expressive, cute face. She likes the color red as much as I do, so I feel warmly toward her. Simon called her reminiscent of a '30s jazz singer at her audition. She tells us that this was the last straw, and then cries because the judges believe in her. Then she sings "How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore," by Prince, and her pronunciations of words are very church choir and sweet. She's a total professional, giving a bunch of crowd patter and emoting the words of the song. Like she really doesn't know why you won't call her anymore, but she's interested in finding out more about the situation, even to the point of getting on her knees, if that could possibly help. I think...the only reason I would not call her is that there are still eleven people to go, and this show gives me kitty-cat memory. Randy loves it, finding her pitchy but also that she "set it off" and made him go "whoo." Paula is amazed by her showmanship, and I agree, if it's a little by the book "I'm a performing lady! Performing!" Simon says she did better than all the boys, and also better than herself previous to this point: "It looks as if you came out and said 'I want to win.'" Ryan congratulates her on setting the tone and calls her "fearless," and she talks about the awesomeness of the audience. She's cute and grownup and a hero of mine. Her hair looks kind of like William Shatner from right around 1972.

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American Idol

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