American Idol
Top 6, Part II: Performances

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In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Just in case anyone cares, Joe R proposed to me months ago that when May rolled around and we were both inevitably sick of our shows, we switch things up for a week to keep from boring both the readers and ourselves. Unfortunately, or at least inequitably, I got one of the best episodes of a season I was already quite enjoying, and he got stuck with a trite PSA. Sorry about that, dude. I'll buy you a drink at TARcon.

Wow, I really went on and on in the recaplet, didn't I? I just couldn't shut up! It was really hard for me to adjust to this show! It's just not my thing! (Sorry, I lapsed into a Jordin impression.) Okay! On the monitor in the background, we see footage from last week, showing each of the six remaining contestants learning that they will live to perform in this dog-and-pony show another day. Ryan's in a black suit with a darker black shirt (black = rock on this show, as we'll see), and he tells us that two of the six hopefuls will be heading home, as we view a live pan across the contestants standing in a line. Notable: Blake has theme-obediently dyed his hair black, and Jordin has frizzed out her 'do and added Gina-like red streaks to it. For someone who will claim that this week isn't her bag, she certainly did the best in matching her hair with the zeitgeist of the theme, that being: Bon Jovi. I'm sorry, I meant BON JOVI! When I picked this episode, we didn't know who the mentor was going to be, and I wouldn't blame Joe if he was hoping that I got Martina McBride instead. (No offense, but... she's not Jon Bon Jovi, is all I'm saying.) Ryan asks which of our kids has the chops. "This! Is American Idol."

Wo wo wo! Ah AH!

Stubbly Ryan comes out (no, not like that) to the usual applause. Gina is in the audience, looking adorable and seriously thrilled to be there. Ryan thanks everyone for opening their purses last week, and tells us that between private giving and corporate donations, they raised almost $70 million dollars. And the breakdown of how that money gets spent will no doubt be publicized as heavily as the Idol Gives Back slogan. Ryan thanks the celebrities who participated as well, declining to make a Ben Stiller-related disclaimer due to time constraints, and then introduces "our three needy children." Part of the reason I like this Top 6 so much is that Ryan's statement couldn't actually apply to that many of them as well. The judges all look like they're in a great mood, and of course they should be, because did I mention the Bon Jovi? Video tribute: Slippery When Wet, hair that caused New Jersey to smile and the ozone layer to cry, JBJ getting geometrically hotter as he got older. Ryan VOs that the band has sold 120 million albums, and then we get shots of JBJ and keyboardist David Bryan, and the two of them just happen to be "rocking out" together in a studio when the Idol hopefuls wander in. JBJ gives them all a thousand-watt smile and self-deprecatingly tells them that his kids love the show. JBJ camera-interviews that all the Idol hopefuls want the title bad, and given that, they'll have to "make the songs [their] own" and "tell stories" with them. I'm thinking JBJ's kids don't watch the show alone, if you take my meaning. JBJ, with the perfect amount of wide-eyed stonerosity in his voice, says he has no idea what's going to happen tonight, but that's why America's watching. The idea that people watch AI for the unpredictability is an idea that could charitably be called "interesting," but his records have sold billions and he's scorching at age 45. Whatever you say, JBJ.

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American Idol

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