And we are 75% complete, with six kids to go, plus the PoV. Which if I'm remembering correctly has to be used either this week or next week. And given the fact that even the best of the best were terrible last night, I'm hoping Kris and Lil didn't break the curve for everybody, because last night's piece of crap should not be held against anybody besides Quentin Tarantino, who conjugates "bring it" more times in ten seconds than Randy has ever said the various three things he knows how to say. There's a quick bump of pointless advertising for what we're about to see, made all fake-grainy because of QT, and then it's time for the actual show.
I just saw Observe & Report and I'm still a little overwhelmed. It was like watching a postgrad philosophy major shark eat Eastbound & Down and then romance you. And I was romanced, let me tell you. Jody Hill, apart from looking like a backwoods supermodel, is a bulletproof tiger drinking from a volcano and he's not even in the movie, it's all Seth Rogen inventing new ways to be wonderful. And heartbreaking, oh. The ads are not the movie, even more than usual. You should see it.
Also heartbreaking: the pimpmercial, which is bad singing of "Freeze Frame" where they're all on the covers of magazines or whatever, it's dumb. That song is dumb. That song is Kids, Incorporated in the form of a song. I always forget how much singing there is on this damned show.
Kris does a little dance down some steps singing "Maniac" from Flashdance in a pretty lovely fashion, and then Allison jumps out of the audience in Barney-purple cameltoed felt bondage pants -- which manages to combine everything that's wrong with her into a single piece of apparel -- and Anoop sleazes down some more stairs because that's all there are now, just stairs and steps everywhere you look, constantly whirling, and nearly takes a header on the yet more steps; Matt... Everybody looks so spazzy singing this song and pretending like they care, but at least we get to see Randy clapping and dorking out in a way that is so embarrassing it's not even funny, it's just weird and gross.
Adam pretends the words of the song are about having sex with you, and Danny looks super hot and sounds super hot and just is begging to get punched in the box. Lil is wearing a dress over pants that makes her look weird over weird, and that's it. Didn't that movie have like a bajillion songs in it? Why not sing all the songs? Although I know a cool thing about this song, which is that it was about an actual maniac on the literal floor that goes around fully killing real live people, but then they changed it to a metaphor about the criminally underrepresented stripper-slash-welders of America. It's true, you can look it up.