American Idol
Top 7 Results

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Vote Rocked

Ryan nearly misses his mark coming in -- or at least his smile does, meaning the big zoom-in ends up alighting on his forehead instead. He spends very little time on the stage before coming around to the judges' table, bragging about the 25 million votes last night and the upcoming performances by Casey James and Carrie Underwood later tonight. But first, they apparently bought the rights to the whole Queen back catalogue in bulk this week, so the top seven has to sing "Somebody to Love." Which is notable mainly for the fact that Lazaro is given the line "I got no rhythm, I just keep losing my beat." He didn't forget that lyric, did he? That must be what Keith means when he's always talking about needing to feel the words.

Coming back, the camera picks out Mindy Kaling in the audience right after a promo of her show, coincidentally. And then we go into this week's Ford Fiesta Mission, which they're not even bothering to try to make seem altruistic this week; they're just going to a photo shoot where they supposedly get all dressed up and made up and coiffed like their musical influences, and then lean on a car. Nobody looks anything like who they're supposed to look like, so it's kind of a bust. Hopefully I can make it up to you by sharing a fun fact I recently discovered: the name of any Ford model can be instantly improved by adding the word "Anal" in front of it. Fiesta, Focus, Probe, Expedition, Escape, et cetera. You're welcome.

Ryan cues up the Jimmy-reel, in which he says he was baffled by last night. His point is that most of this year's singers are either R&B or country, so he's wondering why they were saddled with the rock theme? No, he's wondering why they couldn't do a genre that is also based on R&B and country. But then he answers his own question: most people chose the wrong song. He says Burnell gave rock a bad name, being in a totally different time zone from the band on his Bon Jovi cover, and thus is probably doomed to the bottom two. He hated Angie and Lazaro's Queen duet, saying Freddie Mercury would never write a song the way they sang it. What, with long blank stretches?

He says Kree picked the right song, and pulled it off despite her pinched nerve. He agrees with everyone that Candice totally blew away the adequate Burnell during their duet of "The Letter," and thinks Janelle might have done better with a Bob Seger or John Fogerty joint rather than the Billy Joel tune she did perform, ranking her fourth for the night. He declares Lazaro's performance "reasonable" and figures he won't do to well in the vote. As for the trio of Janelle, Amber and Kree, the only part he liked was Amber's jeans. He didn't think "Satisfaction" had the melody that Candice needed to show off her chops, and says Amber is improving every week -- enough to get into the top three this week. He also liked Angie's performance, even if it was a duet (or maybe a duel) with the wind machine, but thinks she needs to get out of her head more when she's performing. He predicts, clearly under duress, that the top three will be Angie, Amber and Kree, with Candice now taking what he originally said was Janelle's fourth-place spot, and figures Lazaro will be going home. But, of course, what should happen and what does happen are often two different things.

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American Idol

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