American Idol

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Do You Feel Inspired?

So I saved Kick-Ass for April twentieth. That may or may not make sense to you, but I sort of wanted to talk to you about it before IGB tomorrow because who knows what kind of a bitchy mood I'll be in tomorrow, with the hangover I'm working on due to this Alicia Keys bullshit, plus how it's a million years long, and because I am feeling very American right now. So I saw this movie, which I'd been looking forward to because the comic book had a surprising impact on me a couple years ago. I mean, some things are guaranteed to make me cry in superhero comics: Illyana Rasputin, Emma Frost, Rachel Summers. Basically anybody who didn't make it through my particular kind of childhood, I'm a wreck. But usually, beyond the Grant Morrison stuff that's supposed to, I don't get upset: Too busy wondering how they always get in so much trouble and how best it could have been averted.

But here, I spent all but twenty minutes crying in that movie, for reasons that I may not be able to properly express. (I don't mean like weeping but with a sort of West Wing twinkle in my eye. And anyway you know me, I'm two and a half men and one of them is a crier.) But it has generally to do with the fact that even though giant changes don't happen -- no matter how much obvious sense they make -- it's only little tiny changes that happen. Fix you, fix the world: That's fine, and that's what can actually happen. Tiny choices making tiny changes.

I mean, there's a reason we're (comparatively) rich and somebody else is (bastard amounts of) poor: Somebody richer than us decided they wanted to be more rich, not less, so those people have to stay fucked, and we're in the middle of that. That's literally the only reason: The ungodly inequality of life on this planet is what works for the people who make the rules. Some of us have food and money and things people need, but the people who went to the same colleges their parents went to, and make up the rules for these things, and make up constant new rules to get more things, they win. They have lobbyists. And maybe they deserve those things, hell, I don't know. I'm certainly not giving half my shit to somebody else just because I feel bad about what I have; but I'm also not in a position to influence legislation, much less global economies, to even it out. And if I could, I probably wouldn't, because I like my things too. Frankly, I would like to see about getting more things.

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American Idol




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