Tyler: "You just summed up what I always knew, that's all you guys did tonight."
(Waiting on clarification? Don't bother. Apparently since he always knew it, we are just fucked for not having always known it. I love how Steven Tyler manages to be cryptic and up his own asshole at the same time. We are not necessary for this part. But then, neither is he.)
Tyler: "Thank you for whipping that out on us."
Randy: "Ha! Like a penis!"
The two duets of safe people are summoned to the Seal, and we review:
Casey: Told the useless pervert mentors to fuck themselves, and the Judges pretended it was awesome, and Steven Tyler once again manages to somehow make this about him and his ability to say nonsense words.
Haley: Sang "Call Me" and Steven only paid attention during the chorus, while J. Lo and Randy actually knew what the fuck they were talking about.
Lauren: Moved Steven Tyler "beyond tears" with "The Climb," which was beyond boring.
Scotty: Is not as cute as he thinks he is.
But he is safe, so that's something. One of the three left over is in the Bottom Three, but it is not Lauren, so that means Casey or Haley is B3. Haley's been in the B3 every week, and Casey is magic, so... Haley's not safe and Casey is safe and obviously that's how that was going to go.
SUCH A FUN SUMMER LOOK
Apparently while Elvira was teaching Lauren Alaina's granddaughter how to tease her hair -- "The higher the hair, the closer to ghouls," as they say -- her buddy Rob Reiner was giving the Idols lessons on how to survive in the movie business, on the off chance that they ever have anything to do with the movie business. He also taught them to replace a washer in your toilet tank, in case they ever needed that information too.
Scotty pretends that he has heard of When Harry Met Sally... and James Durbin reminds us that he likes things like Spinal Tap, because he is a huge nerd and into the metal music. Rob Reiner does some kind of bizarre grandpa routine that confuses the children, and then he talks shit about From Justin to Kelly and talks about how one day they might be in a movie or something. Even Rob Reiner never quite figures out why he's there.