Up next is everyone's favorite drag queen opera singer from Jamaica, Shequida. He informs us that the act started as a joke, but, like the best jokes, became a lifestyle choice. The song he will be singing is an anthem for her. Sharon is not sure America is ready for Shequida. Shequida is ready for America. She is lowered onto the stage singing operatically and looking conservative. Then she rips off her trenchcoat to reveal pink sequins and starts in on an operatic version of Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. Gag me with a gay man, that is just so... expected. A few notes in and Piers mercifully buzzes. The song is extremely high-pitched, campy, squawky and just ridiculous. He finishes the song on, of course, a high note. Piers describes the sound as that of a strangled rabbit. He shouts, "Save the rabbit!" And that was funny. Sharon and The Hoff basically agree that they loved Shequida for singing opera as both a man and a woman. That was the talent that moved him along in the competition. They wanted America to see that and instead he gave them something best kept in the shower. I mean I'm all for getting out of the closet and everything, but, honestly, some things are best kept in.
Welcome back from our commercial break. How excited are you about the new Coen Bros. movie? I can't wait to see it! But first, The Taubl Family. Mother Taubl explains how she basically enslaves her children and makes them practice twenty hours a day and they never get to have any fun and are bound for therapy and reality shows. The Hoff interviews that he is worried that the Taubls lack the "edge" necessary for Vegas. I worry that they are actually a cult who are going to use their newfound wealth and fame to proselytize their ottoman-fetishizing ways. Anyhoo, the boys start the singing. After a few lines, the girls join in. Once again, I do not recognize the song. The lyrics involve standing under an umbrella. Admittedly, I would suck at "Name That Tune." Thank God that's been off the air for twenty years, and please don't let Joey Fatone bring it back. The Taubls don't seem to be using their instruments at all. They are making copious use of the smoke machine however. Oh, wait, there's mom on the piano. Otherwise it seems to be all a capella. The girls finish the song and the boys play what appears to be a single note on their fiddles. The audience goes nuts. Piers starts the judging. He says that normally he likes to weed out the family groups at this point or something evil sounding, but this number really worked for him. He really enjoyed it. Sharon thought the competition was grim up until now, but they were a ray of sunshine. Dad played the bongos and Sharon is strangely happy about that. The Hoff apologizes for saying he thought they lacked an edge. He thought they were fantastic. Thank Google, the song is by Rihanna. [Lulu, you really need to turn on a radio once in a while. - Zach]









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