America's Got Talent

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Bring on the Dancing Horses

I want a cookie. I'm just putting that out there. Next to perform is a group called SickStep who we haven't really seen before. They're apparently breakdancing street dancers. According to the pre-performance interview, Piers was their harshest critic, and they've been killing themselves to impress him. Maybe they should just kill him to impress me, eh? A little Mark David Chapman action to make things interesting? Oh, no one is paying attention. Anyway, they come on stage and spread out dancing and kicking and spinning on their heads. Some of them are wearing basketball uniforms, others vests, ties and jeans. I rewound to watch the act again, because the first time through I was trying to figure out their outfits. Second go-round, I watched the choreography. They're pretty darn entertaining, but I'm no Carrie Ann or Bruno, and I have no idea what the judges will think of this act. Straight off, Piers asks who choreographed their routine. They explain that they all did it, because they're a family. Ooh, look out, Taubls! Piers thought it was great. They really proved that they're more then just street performers. Sharon agreed that they owned the stage. The Hoff loved it, but he wants more attitude. He wants them to make him watch. Which is a totally dirty thing to say. This is a family show, Hasselhoff.

So when we return to the show, Jerry is standing in the audience reminding us that we are live in LA. He is surrounded by senior citizens. Completely. Like Day of the Dead or Thriller. Is that the rowdy studio audience? Is it comprised entirely of feisty nursing-home daytrippers? Weird. Must be all the Cialis. Following SickStep on stage is another act we have barely seen. He's an impressionist; think less Seurat and Monet, more DeNiro and Nicholson. His name is Matthew Piazzi. He seems a bit schizophrenic. Maybe more than a bit. He goes from Arnold Schwarzenegger to Jack Nicholson to Vince Vaughn and then my television freaks out and shows three seconds of a Heroes ad and then flashes back to his act already in progress. Mr. Piazzi is sitting at a piano performing Great Balls of Fire. Piers buzzes. Mr. Piazzi talks to the voices in his head for a while, and then he performs the rest of the song. I have no idea what is going on. The television freakout really ruined the narrative arc. Now the guy just looks bonkers. Piers tells him that he totally blew it. The judges put him through to the Top 40 because of his talent for impressions, not his piano playing. It was awful. Sharon is more equivocal about it. She thought he did great voices, but needed to work on his writing. The Hoff is flabbergasted. He thought the act was great! He really loved it. Sadly, I am in no position to judge this guy. But the new season of Heroeslooks fantastic!

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America's Got Talent




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