America's Got Talent

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And Then There Were 20…

Live from Los Angeles (with portions pre-recorded) it's America's Got Talent!. It's Top 20 week here in Los Angeles and ow! Ow! My computer is burning my leg. What the frack, computer? You are totally distracting me from Jerry's rundown of the prizes. Dang, now I'll never know what the contestants will win. Jerry introduces the judges. It's still just Piers, Sharon and The Hoff. Unlike American Idol, the producers have not asked Rhea Perlman or Lindsay Lohan or some other attractive but inane judge to join the panel. Not yet, anyway. We'll have to see how the cookie crumbles once the final numbers are in. I mean, this show is dying to be American Idol.

Piers takes a moment out of his usual captivating rundown of what the competitors need to do to impress the judges to out Jerry as a newly-minted grandfather. Aw, shucks. Maybe Jerry can judge Kaitlyn more objectively now that he has an actual fully-fledged grandchild to dote on. Sharon wants the acts to know that it's not enough of a talent to sing and dance simultaneously. But, Sharon, that's hard! The Hoff claims that the title is "Best New Act in America." He wants to know who can sustain in Las Vegas and who can bring it. Um, does he really think Kaitlyn can sustain a show in Vegas? I know I'm picking on her, but I spent all week hanging out with my four-year old niece and I am even more convinced that Kaitlyn is merely a confident four-year old with a stage mom more than an untapped great talent. Okay, off the soapbox. For now.

Jerry ushers last week's performers onto the stage for parsing into winners and losers. They show the montage of performances and the not-at-all informative backstage clips. The first acts to step forward for judgment are Nuttin' but Stringz and Indiggo. The twins are smart enough to know their fate because once the pairing was announced one of them mouthed, "We're out." And those words were proven true as Nuttin' but Stringz advanced. Next up is Flambeaux and Kaitlyn. Flambeaux can't stand it. He makes cute little wincy faces. He knows he is going down (in flames, naturally). Kaitlyn looks like she's about to cry, and I feel sad. Flambeaux grimaces when he sees that she is about to bawl. He looks very uncomfortable. Jerry drags it out and then shouts, "Oh my God! Kaitlyn!" Kaitlyn looks confused and then hugs Flambeaux and heads off the stage, making me think someone prepped her for the win. Scandal!

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America's Got Talent

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