America's Got Talent
Season 3 Episode 14

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Twenty is the Loneliest Number

Live from Los Angeles (with portions pre-recorded) it's America's Got Talent!. Before we get started though I would like to thank the Twopper who took time out of her television watching to explain the difference between dancing and clogging to me. I totally get Riverdance now. Now back to our (mostly) live show. Top 20 week continues and ten more performers do their darndest to ensure a spot in the Top 10. Tonight the battle continues with SickStep, Sarah Lenore, Nuttin' But Stringz, the Taubl Family, Fake Elvis, Tapping Dads, Donald Braswell, Eli Mattson, Jonathon Burkin, and Kaitlyn Maher, America's Sweetest Gag Reflex. The camera scans the audience and a lot of people are holding up signs. I have never been able to figure out whether people bring their own signs or whether the producers provide them. If people make their own, do the producers strategically place them around the auditorium, ushering them to the front for the appropriate performance? And where do you get neon poster board and tempera paint anyway? And do they all drive? Do the posters fit in the cars or do they have to tie them to the roof racks? So many questions! Jerry reminds us that it is Wednesday (thanks for the reminder!) and that we are getting closer to giving away the biggest prize in entertainment history (payable as a fifty cent annuity for the next 5000 years or in one lump sum during the Rapture/Apocalypse, whichever comes first). Jerry introduces the judges. He asks Piers what he thought of the ten acts last night. Piers thought a few acts set the bar very high and a few sucked it big time. Piers then explained the difference between this show and a tea party. I didn't hear it though because I was too busy humming "A Very Merry Unbirthday" because he sounded exactly like the Mad Hatter. Sharon confesses that she has five favorite acts and she hopes they make the finals. That is not a very interesting comment, Sharon. The Hoff starts off in sports metaphors and ends with a smirk and a robot-like hand gesture. Whatever Hoffbot 2000.

After the judges' comments, the Vegas Tourism Board provides us a lovely montage of shots of Las Vegas, acts praying to be playing in Vegas, the judges talking about Vegas, and then Terry Fator talking about life in Vegas. OMG, AGT loves LV 4ever!!!! Then Terry Fator is brought out to a stage set made up of his name in ten-foot tall cut-out plastic letters set up around the stage. He is wearing a black glitter jacket (is glitter handed out at the Vegas border?) with his hand up a turtle's butt. Terry Fator introduces the turtle as Winston. There are women in the audience holding Winston dolls. Winston sings "Let's Get it On" and dedicates it to Sharon with apologies to Ozzie. Next to grace Terry's arm with his buttocks is Maynard Tompkins, an Elvis impersonator. Accompanying Maynard are some showgirls decked out in red, white, and blue sparkles. Maynard sings "Viva Las Vegas" naturally. At the end of the song, Jerry interviews him (him being Terry, not Maynard) on stage. He asks him how his life has changed and how he thinks the current competitors are feeling. Jerry makes a stupid joke about making money without opening his mouth. Terry's publicist reminds him to mention his upcoming book, Who's the Dummy Now? The audience laughs appreciatively and the judges clap absently. Piers has a look on his fact that clearly says, "I can't believe this chucklehead is richer than me." We cut to commercial.

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America's Got Talent

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