Jerry calls up the next batch of contestants: Joseph Hall (Fake Elvis) versus Queen Emily. Do I even have to tell you? Let's just say there is no shock or drama here. Queen Emily whoops in pretend stunned amazement. Joseph stands with an Elvis sneer, hip jutting out, hands on his waist and looking a bit sad as Jerry introduces his clip. He makes a few Elvis-ish moves as he waves at his fans. I feel the need to point out that every single competitor is wearing exactly the same thing they were wearing "last night." So either they recorded the entire show last night, made the contestants sit around for two hours while America voted, and then hauled them back on stage for this "live" farce or they told the acts to wear exactly the same thing two nights in a row. Either way it is odd.

Next on Jerry's Stage of Destiny is not another elimination, but a random performance by Natasha Bedingfield. Her crack PR team has decided that tonight -- Live! On stage! -- is the perfect time to introduce her new single, "Angel." I'm totally fast-forwarding. Ooh, hold that button-pressing to give a standing ovation to the overworked smoke machine that once again has flooded the stage with waves of smoke. Nice work, Smokey! Natasha gets the entire audience to raise the roof while she sings about being your angel. I am having a really hard time imagining that this is her target audience. Maybe NBC owns her. Whatever. How else would they fill an entire half hour with just five eliminations?