America's Got Talent

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Shock and Awe and a Few Yawns

Live from Los Angeles (with portions pre-recorded) it's America's Got Talent! Okay, hold it right there. In a half-hour show, how much of the show can be pre-recorded and still be considered a live show? What is the live to pre-recorded ratio? Is Paul Salos all pre-recorded so he can be in bed by seven? Hmm. Anyway, back to our intro. Jerry keeps it real by pointing out that this is the biggest night so far. He has a point. Last night the Top Ten competed for our votes. Tonight we will see the results of all our hard work. (That website takes a lot of work to click through!) According to Jerry, millions of people dialed and clicked and made their opinion known. Jerry promises drama. Shocking drama. But before we can have any drama or shocks we have to be reminded of the prizes (a million bucks and a Vegas show) and the judges (Piers, Sharon, The Hoff). We also have to be reminded of what we blotted out last night after a full day of debauchery, sin, and White-Out-sniffing. Luckily, the editors have a handy video montage to fill in the blanks for us. There was Paul Salos doing a fairly faulty Fake Frank Sinatra, Kaitlyn screeching like an adorable kitten, Fake Elvis shaking his polyester-clad behind, Jessica Price dressed for a toga party and singing for kittens, Neal E. Boyd not crying and not singing opera, Queen Emily wailing the house down, Nuttin' But Stringz thrilling the judges, The Wright Kids re-mixing "ABC", and Eli Mattson wearing a hat and playing a piano. That's only nine. Who am I forgetting? Oh right, Donald Braswell. Yawn.

Jerry calls up the first contestants to the Stage of Destiny for the results. It is Nuttin' But Stringz versus The Wright Kids. Obviously the Stringz will carry on. Jerry tells the Wright Kids that it has been great having them on the show. And it has been. Although I wish they had stuck to their supposed bluegrass roots. I really would have liked to see those kids take on some jug-whistling washboard tune. The kids take it really well. They nod and smile and don't cry at all. They have been well-prepared. It's probably not fair, but I am not at all disturbed by these kids playing here, while I am really disturbed that Kaitlyn is performing so far past her bedtime. They aren't that much older than her, but they seem way more well-adjusted (and talented). And back to that not fair thing, I am convinced that Kaitlyn has pushy stage parents, but I don't feel that way about the Wright Kids (or their parents). Dunno why. Anyway, Jerry introduces a retrospective of the Wright Kids' journey to this point. We finally get to see a clip of them singing bluegrass and I totally want to see more. The five seconds looked great. The kids hug Jerry and walk off the stage gracefully. The Hoff gets the audience off their collectively fat ass to give the kids a standing ovation. Good on ya', Hoff.

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America's Got Talent

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