America's Got Talent
America's Got Talent

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: B- | 1199 USERS: B-
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Putting the AGT! in Audition

Up first in this second go round of Los Angeles auditions are the Texas State Strutters, a "precision dance troupe" from deep in the heart of Texas, needless to say. They are wearing the darndest outfits of white cowboy hats, white cowboy boots, white skirts, white bolero jackets, white teeth, and neckerchiefs. They lock arms and strut their collective stuff. They do synchronized splits, kicks, and spins. No one buzzes. They do some more splits. No one buzzes. They do more splits and finish. No buzzes. The Hoff thought it was going to be boring (despite the short skirts), but ended up loving them. Piers thought it was a bit lax. Sharon thought the act was like The Rockettes doing a Western and she votes no. The Hoff votes yes. Piers is mesmerized by the sea of white and inexplicably votes yes. So they are going to Vegas even though there is no way they will win because they are ersatz cheerleaders and there are way better acts. Seriously if they had auditioned in Dallas they never would have made it to Vegas.

For example, one better act is Shakes a ten-year old hip-hop dancer who brings the audience to their feet. The Awakening dance troupe is also better. Georgia Force Cheerleaders are also better, their outfits skimpier, their rumps shakier, and their hair bigger. They can all battle it out in Vegas. Bringing an abrupt end to this streak of successful, polished, professional dance acts is Ronny B, a 31-year old store assistant who does such a brilliantly bad Lionel Richie singing and dance routine that not one judge can buzz until the very end when The Hoff manages to get one finger on his buzzer. The audience is cheering wildly while Ronny B gyrates, squirms, semi-strips, skips, writhes, runs his fingers through his hair, and throws himself at the backdrop. While the judges' mouths drop, the audience is on their feet screaming. When he mercifully stops, Sharon has to know where he usually performs. Ronny B explains that he normally performs at bus stops. I really need to start riding the bus. The Hoff says it is the worst act he ever saw and sound bites that "This is a talent show, not a freak show." Piers would like to buzz him back to the bus stop, but finds him weirdly entertaining. Sharon states that he is a weird little man who looks like a shrunken Marc Anthony. The Hoff won't have anything to do with it and votes a resounding no. Sharon votes yes. Piers wants to know how much Ronny B wants to go to Vegas. Ronny B really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really wants to go. Piers has apparently had his head amputated and replaced with a marshmallow because he tells Ronny B that this show is all about making dreams come true and Ronny B is off to Vegas.

America's Got Talent

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