America's Got Talent
Season 3 Episode 6

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Putting the AGT! in Audition

Up first in that parade is a dancing inflatable jujube called the Inflatable Theater. It looked interesting to me, but not nearly as interesting as the Zooperstars. Next is Sweet-Lou Fusco who is inexplicable, awful, and buzzed out not nearly as quickly as you would expect. Most likely just so the show would have a clip of his mustache singing. Much to my delight (God save my soul) the Power Team are also quickly ousted from the show. While The Power Team is billed as "youth motivational speakers," they are actually Christian youth motivational speakers and have been regulars on the Christian youth convention circuit since I was a wee lass intent on speaking in tongues and saving the souls of everyone around me. Attending motivational praise and prayer sessions with likeminded and like-saved kids was the highlight of my youth group year. While The Power Team's tryouts for AGT consisted of ramming through a huge stack of ice blocks with their shoulders and playing Red Rover with a flaming piece of wood, when I last saw them they performed that same songbook, but also tore telephone books apart with their bare hands (for Jesus!), tore handcuffs into pieces, and smashed six cinder blocks with their heads all the while proselytizing to the already saved. They broke bricks with their heads for the Lord! The mullets were just for fun. I was extremely elated to see them axed so quickly, just to avoid any further uncomfortable expository writing.

Next up in The Turn for the Worse were the Seed and Feed Marching Abominable. Ranging in age from 9 to 77 years young they were a rag tag costumed crew who filled the stage with a house of horrors set to brass marching band tunes and caused Piers to flashback to his acid-taking youth where he baked his baby brother because he thought he was a turkey. Anita Aloha was next to be disappointed despite her incredible ability to do Pilates on stage in sparkly spandex. She looked like the inevitable end product of an addiction to "Get in Shape, Girl!" videos. You've been warned!

The best part about The Turn for the Worse is that it inevitably ends. And it always ends when Jerry says something along the lines of "Things are looking bad here. Can this next act turn things around?" And in the magical land of AGT, the next act always can. Fun with Hand Shadows are two men (brothers? coworkers? sponsors?) who have trained their dogs to twirl batons to the show tunes of Gershwin. Which makes their name surprising, no? One guy does narration while the other makes shadows with his hands. He is quite good with his roster of Presidents and a Pope. I'm not quite sure why the narrator is there, but maybe the puppeteer needs moral support. They are voted through to Vegas. And thus endeth The Turn for the Worse.

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America's Got Talent

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