America's Got Talent

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MySpace, Your Space, a Few People from Outer Space

Backstage, The Hoff explains that dreams come true on America's Got Talent except for the next act, The Sweet Tones, a mother daughter duo who are mocked by Piers. Granted, the mocking may have been deserved. You knew the act was going to be odd, because during their introduction they kept talking about the fact that they weren't trained, but it was a God-given talent and people were always amazed. They are whistlers. They whistle in harmony. They whistled "The Hills are Alive" from The Sound of Music. The Hoff thought they did a really good job, but it's a competition, and they wouldn't win. Sharon can't imagine listening to that for an hour and a half. The mother claims that she has gone for three hours and people loved it. Piers cuts her off to explain that he thought the act was pointless, childish, and a waste of time. Finally! While a bit mean, I thought Piers had been taxidermied, and I'm glad that I was wrong. These last seven weeks we have spent together Piers has so rarely used that watered-down Simon Cowell of a tongue for which he is feared, revered, and loved. Hopefully he will use it more in Vegas. He has to sway the American public after all.

The final sob story performer of the evening is a US soldier who is performing in uniform. He just got back from a long tour of duty in Iraq and apparently owns no other clothing. Are the insurgents stealing our boys in uniform's plainclothes? What are we going to be doing about this? Do our presidential candidates have plans in place to remedy this? Anyway, our soldier would play his guitar during Army downtime and Shiites and Sunnis, soldiers and insurgents would lay down their arms, hold hands and sway. Magic! I think that may be Obama's plan for Iraqi peace. He introduces himself as Specialist Daniel Jens and he is here to play for the American Dream. I don't know what song he's singing, but he has a nice enough voice. I'm not well-versed enough in Top 40 tunes to tell you who he sounds like, but he sounds like people you would hear on the radio. The audience is on their feet, their arms a-swayin', and as the song winds down they begin to chant "USA! USA! USA!" Sharon says that she got goosebumps. Piers thinks he has charisma, but not necessarily the skills. (Fucking Brit). The Hoff thinks he has the chops. Piers asks him to bring out his wife who dutifully trots out on stage and says that his fifteen-month tour was the longest fifteen months of her life. Sharon votes him through, The Hoff enthusiastically votes him through, and Piers tells him that he was sent to Iraq and now he is getting sent to Vegas.

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America's Got Talent

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