Following the oldest and the youngest contestants is the most patriotic: Soldier Boy. He heads up to the judging panel where Piers informs him that he had one of the most difficult auditions. Despite his problems, they think he is fantastic. So he is through, despite forgetting the words during his last performance. That will really tick off some of the people who managed to remember all their words and still got booted off. Maybe Michael Trixx will write him nasty letters. Well since we are going to see more of this guy, let's have a pledge drive and buy him some sweats and see if he makes it through without the uniform.

The magician who looks like David Copperfield is also going through. Actually, maybe it is David Copperfield. He has been out of the news for a quite a while and probably suffering from David Blaine's success and his divorce from Claudia Schiffer. This could be his big comeback!

Flambeaux is going to Hollywood as well. I can't wait until we can actually see his act. Alex Pyles, the little girl who beats up her dad, is also through. Personally, I cannot imagine how that act has answered the judges' perennial question, "Would you pay to watch that for ninety minutes?" I mean, would you? Following Alex to Hollywood is the six-foot something transsexual/transvestite (I haven't personally investigated the subject) opera singer, Shequida. Which is good. I think America needs her in their living rooms. The drumming notStomp! boys, Cadence, from Ole Miss or whatever are also into the semi finals. The blonde singer who is not the Saddest Girl in the World is joining them. I will learn her name soon, I swear! Also through is the guy who lied down on a bed of nails while Hoff tap-danced on his chest. They really had no choice, though, because of the lawsuit. The sassy dancing trombone player gives a toot of good cheer when he is put through.