Next in the series of split decisions is Fake Britney Spears. He is told what a difficult decision it was for the judges. They just couldn't agree. The Hoff wants him to know that whatever happens, it's a positive thing that he got this far. He is put through. He promises the judges that he will do all his best work. Er, rather, Britney's work. Maybe he'll watch her kids for her. He is proud of his work, he is proud of following his dream. Oh-kay, Fake Britney Spears. Just don't expect an invitation to Career Day.
Next on the block is Xclusive, the nineteen-year old Inspector Gadget robot dancer. He is not going to the semis. He is sad. He cries despite The Hoff's encouraging bon mots that he will probably find a niche in a Spank Rock video or something. The Sob Story of the Week who lost his voice and came back to sing Josh Groban is next. Jerry reminds us that Donald is the father of three who was working as a singer before losing his voice in a car accident and now works selling cars. The Hoff tells him that he performed in the toughest category. He was really good and had an even better story. It was the hardest decision they made out of all the competitors, but he is not going to continue in the competition. Poor guy looks positively crushed. He cries backstage saying that he wanted this for his three beautiful little girls. He wanted them to see him succeed. Sniffle. Don't worry, Donald, I hear they are casting for the musical version of Death of a Salesman.
Now filling the stage are the Zooperstars and I am giggling already as they lumber and bounce their way to the judges' panel. When the Duck wipes out on his way up to the stage, I snort and The Hoff shouts, "Duck down! Down duck! Down duck!" After a lot of dramatic pausing and Piers pish poshing about how he doesn't like them, but likes them anyway, they are told that they are moving on in the competition. This announcement causes all sorts of onstage pandemonium. The elephant gets down and on the floor and wiggles. The whale dances up the aisle. I don't know why I find them so hysterical, and I kind of wish I didn't, but they make me giggle. As they jump away, Jerry segues us to the fate of a few more dance troupes. Some of the strippers, some of the tap-dancers (Hi Dad!), some of the cheerleaders, some of the hip hop dancers, and some gay line dancers (Hi Dad!) are heading for Los Angeles.