America's Got Talent

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Lordy, Lordy, It’s The Top 40.

Up next are twin call girls, Inndigo. Despite their early round split decision, they are put through to the Los Angeles show. An outcome I can only assume has to do with the fact that they have The Osbournes locked in a trunk guarded by a dancing bear somewhere in Romania. Why else would Sharon agree to put them through? Of course they could be way more talented then we have been led to believe -- editors and all their drama. One of the girls then proves that to be true when she is possessed by a devil dog (live on stage!), gets down on the ground, and starts barking. Piers and The Hoff love it, but Sharon looks really concerned. I would totally pay eighty dollars to see an hour and a half of that act! After the exorcism the girls talk to Jerry backstage and apologize for not being modest.

Backstage, Fake Frank Sinatra cries to the camera and wipes a tear away as he begs the judges to not give him a coronary. He's old! Let him through already! Wait! Before you tell him your decision: his wife made him a stamp with his face on it. Now you have to let him through. The judges make Fake Frank cry as they let him through. He then makes his wife cry when he calls her from backstage.

Next on the chopping block is the Most Precious Little Girl in the World, Kaitlyn. (And, yes, I will admit that I have been misspelling her name, but that was on purpose so she couldn't Google herself and read all the mean things I've been saying about her.) Sharon asks her if she would like to stay in the competition. She is very serious when she replies that yes, she would like to stay in the competition. The judges let her through proving once and for all that they are either tone deaf or that this competition is actually about being cute. (America's Got Cute! Kaitlyn can compete against fluffy little kittens, adorably roly-poly puppies, little chicks, and bunnies!) Sharon gives her a motherly hug and then steers her towards Piers for a rather awkward one. Little Kaitlyn looks really confused. But she is so darn cute, who cares?

Following the oldest and the youngest contestants is the most patriotic: Soldier Boy. He heads up to the judging panel where Piers informs him that he had one of the most difficult auditions. Despite his problems, they think he is fantastic. So he is through, despite forgetting the words during his last performance. That will really tick off some of the people who managed to remember all their words and still got booted off. Maybe Michael Trixx will write him nasty letters. Well since we are going to see more of this guy, let's have a pledge drive and buy him some sweats and see if he makes it through without the uniform.

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America's Got Talent

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