Now it is The Cadence versus the DC Cowboys. There are a lot of sensitive-guy man hugs going on amongst The Cadence boys. The DC Cowboys are rather stoic. The Cadence moves on and the DC Cowboys move in for some soft college boy hugs. The Cadence is a-ok with their sexuality and doesn't mine hugging gay line-stepping cowboys in glitter pants on national television. And that makes me like them a lot more. The next to be adjudicated are Derrick Barry (Fake Britney) and Neal E. Boyd. They look nervous. Jerry announces that the next act moving to the Top 20 is... Fake Britney! Oh as if. Fake Britney had a fake smile plastered on his face from the moment he got called up against Neal E. Boyd. He knew it was all over. Neal moves on and Jerry wishes Fake Britney good luck in all his endeavors.

That leaves The James Gang and Elite (Alex the Dad Asswhooper). Jerry tells the acts that they were numbers five and six in the voting and it is up to the judges to choose which act will be moving on in the competition. Jerry asks Alex if she expected to be there. She doesn't know, but claims to be excited, then seconds later she bursts into tears. The camera zooms in on her face to show how sensitive they are to this young girl. Even stiff-upper-lipper Piers is moved by her tears. He is moved to tell her to shut up and stop crying because she did brilliantly. He tells her not to cry some more and then picks The James Gang to move on. Alex smiles and cries, smiles and cries. Sharon tells Alex not to look at her and to turn around. Alex turns around. Sharon confesses she was joking, but that she too is going with The James Gang. No joke. Alex is really sad. She tries to suck it up, but cries harder. The entire James Gang surrounds her. The hug her, pat her back, and let her cry all over their tuxedos. As Jerry tries to move on with the show, the James Gang won't let go of Alex. One member of the James Gang picks her up and totes her around the entire stage for a Miss America-style wave and smile as the audience applauds. It's really sweet. I cannot mock.