Wow, I can't believe they are advertising Days of Our Lives during primetime. I also can't believe that Roman and Marlena are still around. Botox is amazing. Anyway, after the commercial we are back to see Beyond Belief Dance Company and all 102 members. They easily fill the stage in their tennis shoes and short shorts. The first half of their act is a little sparse and disconnected, but by the end they have come together and finish strong. We also get a fantastic shot of The Hoff doing the Whiteman's Overbite and attempting to dance in his chair but can't really find the beat and giving up. Piers asks if they want the good news or the bad news first. Their spokesmodel asks for the bad. Piers agrees with me that they were lousy at first. He also thinks some of the dancers are better than others, but they came together at the end to impress him. Sharon thought they were sassy and had great attitude. Sharon is now wearing a very large Chanel pin. I wonder if they paid for product placement like the ubiquitous Coke cups on American Idol? You know Coco Chanel would have loved this show. Sharon liked the BBDC, but wanted them to do more more more because there are so freakin' many of them. The Hoff liked them too. His comments keep getting cut off because he is last and Sharon and Piers talk slow. It's kind of funny.
Next onstage is Paul Salos, our Fake Frank Sinatra. He may not charm the Jonas Bros. set, but if he can mobilize the old folks vote he is golden. Of course trying to get out the senior vote for an election done primarily via online and cell phone voting might be a bit of a challenge. (No grandma a text message. On a cellphone. Not a telegram. No Grandma that's a mouse. For the computer. No need to call the exterminator!) Fake Frank comes out in a tuxedo and descends a staircase lined with showgirls Busby Berkley-like. He sings My Way and obviously wows the judges. They all love him. Jerry loves him. The audience loves him. Man he could totally take this whole thing. I should put in a old folks and Florida voting joke here, but this close to the presidential election I just don't have it in me.
Following in Fabulous Fake Frank's footsteps is Kazual, four brothers who sing and dance. I don't think we have really seen them before. They come out singing and dancing in matching outfits and look really polished. Unfortunately, that polish is ruined when the first brother to sing busts out and is really flat and off-key. Piers buzzes. They deserve it. The other brothers do a much better job at staying in tune, but the damage may be done. At the end of the act, Piers tells them that when they sing together they are fantastic, but save for one brother none of them have the chops to sing alone. Sharon agrees with Piers, but nicens it up a bit by saying they were nervous. She calls out "Omar" as being the talented one. Omar argues that his name is actually EJ. Don't disagree with the judges, Omar! The Hoff thinks they were fantastic. They have talent. America should find it in their collective heart to move them on. It was just nerves! He is very animated about this. Piers interrupts to say it wasn't nerves, it's that only one of them can sing. The Hoff tells them to let that one sing and the rest should do back up. The brothers don't look very sure about this. You know Omar is getting the beat down later. No self-respecting sibling would let their little brother get away with singing better than them.