Back at the house, there is Tyra Mail. Someone is going home. Allison and Celia think that they did pretty well, but Allison is scared because she had the kiss of death comment about her face. Celia, however, is pretty confident and even feels like her take was the best of the group. As she says she thinks she can be a Cover Girl we head to commercials, because that is a cliffhanger if I ever heard one.
We enter panel with no Tale of the Benevolent Supermodel to guide us on owning our inner fierceness. I guess I have to make one up myself. Okay, here goes. "Once there was a recapperess who wanted to guide future couch potatoes. So she broke out the rules to fattening your own ass to counteract the shame you feel watching a bunch of skinny bitches walking around on TV. Rule number one -- dump a quarter of a bag of chocolate chips into a jar of peanut butter. Get a spoon. Seriously."
Anyway, panel! Tyra wears a bright purple blouse, just like she shall when she's an old woman. She gets right to it, because she has no patience for fools. There are prizes, there are judges. CLAY TO THE MOTHERFUCKING AIKEN is the guest judge! I totally forgot about him in the fifteen minutes between now and his earlier appearance! Wouldn't it be amazing if he and Miss J. vogued to the death? Or if Miss J.'s expanding tie was actually a venus flytrap-type mechanism that ingested any other queen within a 20-foot radius? Tyra introduces Clay by saying that his first album was the highest selling solo artist release in ten years. That's...awfully specific. And probably not true of the past ten years, but whatever.
Celia is up first for evaluation. She has a fabulous ensemble on, as always. We see her best take, which is really good despite a weird puff of hair that's out of place. She looks like a cockatiel, but delivers the lines like a pro. Paulina tells her that she has a natural talent, and mentions to Tyra that Celia had a natural comedic ability at this week's challenge. Clay appreciates how good Celia is at creating a character. Tyra tells Celia to remember the client. In this case, the client is known for youth and brightness. And unfortunately for Celia, she looks like everyone else's crazy aunt and/or Maude. Teyona is next, and her face looks almost exactly like those comedy/drama masks. It's creepy and horrible and why won't her eyes open all the way? Teyona's inability to smile is going to become a problem, I think. Nigel agrees with me that Teyona squints a lot, and adds that there's a big difference between being photogenic and telegenic. Yeah, there's no way she can win. Can you imagine Cycle 13's "My Life As a Cover Girl...OF YOUR NIGHTMARES" spots?